Together and Apart

Ten years ago last month as we awaited the birth of our beautiful Allison Brooke, Dave came home from clinic one night with a small gift in his hand. I had already tucked our Blake into his "big boy" bed and had laid down myself waiting for Dave's long day to end.

As soon as he handed me the box I knew it would be something I would love. I didn't need to know what was inside because I recognized the box. Now some of you may be thinking "small box, recognizable, she knew she would love it...must be Tiffany" obviously you don't know me as well as you think you do. That is so not my style. It was even better. James Avery. Small, handcrafted, silver jewelry, each piece designed with meaning and significance. That's more like it. Now were on the same page.

I opened the box and inside of it found not one but two pieces of jewelry. Each cut to look like a small slab( I always kind of pictured it to be like the one the ten commandments were cut into that day on the mountain when God showed up to speak to Moses). The bottoms of the pieces were broken and rigid and fit perfectly together. On the pieces were written these words:

"God be with us together and apart"

Beautiful. Simple. More profound then we could ever have imagined on that day. For years Dave wore his piece around his neck. Never taking it off, and I did the same. I believe the gift was given to me to bring me peace and comfort during those long days while he was working so hard to become an amazing doctor and I was home alone with two small babies. One just toddling and the other to arrive any day.

While I was home for Allie's birthday the other day I stumbled across a small bag of precious momentos that I keep inside one of my drawers. As I opened the bag to peek at its contents this gift tumbled out into my hand. I sat and stared at it. Stunned for a moment as I thought about its significance in our life so many years later. Dave and I had no idea that the child we longed for, prayed for and waited for would keep us apart so many long days and nights, but Someone did know. The Father knew, and I sat on the floor of my closet that day and cried as I realized how perfectly He had prepared our hearts, our home, and our marriage for these long, difficult days.

"He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it."

In some ways I can sit so far from home and those whom Ash and I love the most and be thankful for these times. It is because of these times we are forced to spend away from each other that we have learned how valuable and how precious our time spent together is. Dave was so thoughtful the day he chose that gift to remind me that God would be with us while we were forced to be apart, but I don't believe he knew how God was using those times to prepare us for something even bigger. He has been with us, and He continues to be. On the nights when I want more than anything to climb up next to Dave and pour my heart out to him as the tears fall I have had to take those moments and climb up next to our Father and pour my heart out to Him and let my tears fall. I kind of think that's what He has always wanted me to do. Its just taken the frailty of our youngest daughter, the distance from our other children, and the separation in our marriage to bring me to this place. Makes me wish I wasn't quite so hard headed and stubborn!

Anyway, I say all of this to share that God is with us (Dave and I, as we approach the very real possibility of spending our 15 year anniversary 700 miles away from each other) while we are together and while we are apart. Its going to be ok, and I know this because of the work He began in us so many years ago.