She's Sick

Update: Ash is looking better. Her fever broke and the rash is gone. We are hoping that we just "stirred" things up. They told me that perhaps she just got a "flush" of bacteria throughout her system during the scope that triggered the fever, trembling, rash, and high heart rate. It could settle in the blood stream and that would be very, very bad, but the longer she can stay fever free the better. Her color is back to normal this morning and she is dressed and out of the bed. Our fingers are crossed hoping the cultures come back negative. It was a pretty sleepless night for her, so I imagine she has a couple of long naps planned for herself today. Thank you so much for your prayers and support.




I know this may sound crazy, but its true. Up until last night I have been telling myself that she is "just" in rejection. I know its crazy! She hadn't had fever. She hadn't really acted sick. Just grumpy. She hadn't been weak or frail the last few days, so in my mind I 'm thinking were gonna get through this thing with our tough girl be too stubborn to let this slow her down.

I was wrong.

We've stirred up something, and unfortunately they still have collected no blood or urine. I think its going to be an ugly day for my Ashley. Lots of sticks, caths, etc. She is hot. The fever hasn't broke and she is wimpering and miserable. My heart is broken.

I SO wanted her to not feel bad. I SO wanted to stare this stupid rejection in the face and NOT allow it to hurt my baby.

Its winning, and we are losing. The word is it always get worse before it gets better. I know that. We've lived on the "block" a time or two, but I didn't want it to be true for just once in her life. We wanted to win. We wanted to kick its butt!!!

Please pray for Ash. Pray that her biopsies will be amazing and full of good news. Pray that whomever comes in this morning to try and get blood from her tiny, worn out veins will actually be GOOD at it. Pray she is tough enough to take it. My heart is breaking for her as she becomes weaker, and weaker. I fear she has an infection now to go along with this rejection. I just pray it didn't come from the bowel. If it did, were in big trouble.