So Weird

Allie was definitely right. This whole thing just feels weird. Here I sit an hour from our home and at this very moment( and from the sounds of it throughout the entire weekend) strangers are walking through what has become a very precious place to us. It is just so weird!

On top of the stress of not being there this week to clean it the way I would have liked, to make sure all the rooms were smelling delicious, and that each book, toy, and item were put in its place, people are actually deciding if it in fact is right for them and their families. How do you guys do this? I mean, I know lots of you who have sold your houses and moved on, but I'm really wondering how do you get through this process.

You see, what might not be "right" for someone else has become so treasured to me. I mean I have always loved being in our home, but since Ashley's birth it has become a treasure. Something I long for, dream about, and enjoy with every part of me. This is the only home she's ever known. When we pull up in the driveway and her eyes see that little yellow house she KNOWS she's safe. She KNOWS its all ok again. I KNOW she's survived yet again and has made it back to where she belongs. What memories we have made in this place!

People are stepping into her nursery this very day. Peeking into what is her speciall place. Walking across those floors that I dreamt of hearing her feet run across. Probably wondering why in the world we have an entire closet, floor to ceiling, organized with medical supplies, equipment, medications, feeding pumps, IV poles and supplies, etc, etc. I wonder if they can tell how very special our little one is just by looking into that closet? I wonder if they can imagine how talented Allison Brooke is just by looking at all the canvas' she's painted and placed around her room? Can they see that my son loves God, loves his family, and loves playing baseball by peeking into his space? I just wonder if they have figured out how very much we love the Caribbean by walking into our kitchen? They'll either LOVE it or HATE. That's for sure! Each wall is a different color. Drift wood adorns the walls with our favorite island names hand painted across each piece. Allison's palm tree paintings sit on the shelves of the bakers rack. A copy of her "Waves of Grace" resides there too. Right next to the tin rooster that just had to come home with me to fill that spot. The colors are loud, so fun, and just plain crazy! Did I ever share with you that we have a red wall, a purple wall, a green wall, a bright yellow wall, and orange wall all in the same room? The beams coordinate as do the cabinets and dishes. Its a crazy space that makes you want to dance as you listen to the island music Dave plays each time we prepare a meal or grill on the deck.

I really love that house! I love our home, and it just feels weird to know that I have opened it up to strangers and allowed them to come on in. I'm just going to sit here and pretend that their old friends who stopped by for a little visit. That is already making me feel a little better.