Hours and hours

Ash has been crying constantly without a moments rest since 5 pm when she came out of recovery. It's been hours and hours of listening to her cry. She is getting morphine every three hours round the clock. Add to that her pre meds of Tylenol benadryl and steroid. Then throw on top of all that some Ativan in an attempt to calm her enough so she might sleep. Nothing is helping her. She is hoarse from the constant cry and exhausted. I am too. I have prayed, pleaded, rocked , and sang. Shevis more miserable than I have ever known her to be. I'm so tired I catch myself falling asleep between her screams only to jerk awake and realize she's still not stopped. I don't know what to do. She has removed the restraints, took herself off the oxygen, refused to keep on a pulse oximeter and is working on the blood pressure cup now. Her eyes have closed yet she cries and cries and cries. This drug is miserable and it had stolen my babys personality. She is sobbing, shaking, and shivering non stop.

I hate this and we have many many more days of treatment left. With no positive changes on the scope we have earned an extended course past the original two weeks.

This is not what I ever dreamed could be happening to my daughter. It sucks!