Lets Talk...

...about the good. Even in the midst of this suffering I was able to be blessed by a few things I saw today.

First of all we started PT with Ash this morning. Its not PT like I've shared with in the past. My sweet girl is on very strong narcotics every 3hours to manage the pain she is in so PT is a little less aggressive than our past experience. We started today in her cube chair. Allie brought it out with her for Ash. She sat in the chair, eyes closed, crying, grimacing, and struggling...but she sat upright for 3-4 minutes. At that time she opened her eyes, found mine, and said, "UP" with her voice not her hands. That my friends, was good.

Next we saw her open her eyes spot a large pink flamingo at the end of her bed and point to it in recognition. That too was good.

Twice today she used a sign. Its been over 4 days since I had seen her have the ability to use her hands for any communication. They are very, very swollen and the skin on her fingers has begun to sluff off making them so sore. We turned down her music this afternoon and she lifted her fingers on her right hand and signed "listen" which means turn it back up. That was so good it made me giggle. I guess I won't be taking liberties with the volume knob on her CD player. It was a good moment in our day.

She hasn't opened her eyes to be awake in days. She is awake, but rather just lays on the bed with eyes squinted tightly closed as she copes with the pain of the rejection. So...I didn't think she was really watching the Wonder Pets DVD that had been playing for umpteen hours and I turned off the TV. She opened one eye, located me and signed "pets". Uh huh, that was good enough for me. It has continued to play ever since.

Ash is there she is. Its just that coping with her pain is stealing her from us for this time, but she's awake behind those eyelids and she's listening to everything going on in this room. She is running the show from her bed and I am all to happy to accommodate her every wish. She is not demanding, she is hurting and these things that surround her remind her of home. I hope I'm listening to the blaring of the Wonder Pets for many, many years to come. It wouldn't be home without them.

She has currently gotten quiet, her meds combined with exhaustion have finally calmed her and I don't here any moaning or grunting. This is good. Perhaps sleep will come for us for the next couple of hours. I hope it does anyway.

Her daddy will arrive tomorrow afternoon. I can't wait. Tonight he shared that he "just needs to see her". Walking through our home and being surrounded by her things has been very difficult for him this week. Tomorrow night her will be cuddled up next to his girl and it will be a beautiful sight. Healing for both of them. It will be good.

So in the midst of this nightmare we are being blessed. In tiny ways, but still blessed. I'm concentrating on the good of today as I close my eyes tonight and I'm being thankful for each of these things.