I can't help it

You would think by this time in our journey that I would have learned, but some days I just can't help it. I know I should guard my heart more closely and not allow that little smile to sneak across my face each time this surgeon walks into our room, but I'm telling you its too hard not to. I love this doctor. He is so positive and so uplifting and so encouraging. Let me tell you whats going on.

Clinically and symptomatically Ashley Kate looks to be improving. No fevers, no tremors, no stomach pain, no need for Lortab or Tylenol in about 5 days. Her stool output is down into normal range at only 40 per kilo(from the 150 she was stooling just last week) and her kidneys ARE working. What does all of this mean? Is it just a fluke? Are we just stringing a couple of good days together in a row for the first time in a month or is she really healing and getting well? I don't know. I have tried not to get to excited this week, but like I said when I hear him talking about discussing transfers NEXT WEEK(mind you, she MUST continue to have low stool output and not spike fevers) I can't help but get smiley. Honestly, I'm terrified of having my heart broken again because I for one know how quickly things turn with our baby girl, but I'm so hopeful that she is really healing and making this progress. Her main issue at this time is the sedation. I am trying to keep her awake and stimulated as much as possible. I SO want her personality to come back and that smile... I miss it more than ever. I know she's got it in there, she just hasn't felt good enough to let it show.

We are sitting tight as far as scopes and biopsies go. Again he said if she has low output for the week we will leave her alone, but if it goes up then we must scope to see what is happening inside of her. My hope is to leave her alone and just allow her to heal. I am so hopeful. We made slight increases in her nutrition today that may or may not send her spiraling down. The biggest hurdle in her gut recovering is increasing her feedings and getting her off of TPN support. We increased the caloric count of her formula today from 15 cal to 18 cal and we increased her volume to 15ccs and hour. Thats about 1/2 an ounce an hour. The stool output will be the true indicator of healing over the next few days.

Even though I am trying to be cautious I just can't help but be encouraged. Wouldn't it be incredible if God allowed her to heal from this insult in record time? What a testament to His power that would be! Your prayers toward transfer would be greatly appreciated. I'm almost too afraid to pray for it myself. Knowing that if its not in His plan for us then He could say no and I would have to accept it even though my heart would break. I've been there more times than I can count lately.

I hope you guys have a wonderful day. Enjoy some fall fun for us if you get the chance. Maybe a walk outside? I sure wish we could take one! I'm going to work on that this week. Just maybe we can get outside to see the mums in the garden? Who knows, it doesn't hurt to ask. Take care my friends. Trish

P.S. I have misplaced my camers during our move and am looking for it so that I might show you all our new place. As soon as I find it I will share.