Almost In

Ashley's first round of treatments are almost in. She received her anti fungal earlier in the evening and is now receiving her cytogam immunoglobulin. This is a four hour infusion with vitals being monitored every 15-30 minutes throughout. She has been very patient, but is now running out. She is really fussy and not happy about a lot of things.

I was able to get her to sit up on the rug for about 20 minutes this evening and she flipped through the pages of a magazine looking for pumpkins for me to count. It took all she had and toward the end of the 20 minutes she was fighting to keep her eyes open and was slowly leaning closer and closer into my chest. I rocked her for about 2 seconds and then she was out. This was the first time she had been out of bed(other than me rocking her) since her return from the biopsy on Monday evening. It saddens my heart to see how weak she has become. This past weekend, combined with the events of Monday have taken a toll on her little body and she just has nothing to offer. No energy. No smiles. No sign of her personality.

After we finish with this infusion I hope she will be able to settle down so that we might get some rest. I may be spending the evening in the chair holding her because she seems much more comfortable there. I'll be happy for her sake once the medicines are done. She just feels so yucky and her body aches from them.

There are many things I would like to share, a lot of things on my heart, but I'm just spent. I really and truly am . Its taking far too long for me to write a sentence, so I would be here all night. Perhaps tomorrow I might have a better handle on things. Its been a very trying, stressful, emotional week so far. I hope we don't have many more like this in the future. Sure and steady is what I am hoping for as we try and recover and work our way back home. Goodnight my friends, Trish