Where Are You

I sit here in the dark rocking this child that You gave to me and I wonder if Your here.

She has been through so much and yet still each day it seems that it hasn't yet been enough and I wonder if Your here.

Did You see what I saw this afternoon? If you knew how bad it was going to be why couldn't You tell me. I wonder if Your still here.

Things get harder by the minute and I wonder if Your here.

Things are changing all around inside of her tiny body. I wonder if Your here.

My heart breaks daily. Over and over again. The pain is so real. Do You feel it too? I wonder if Your here.

Our tears fall like raindrops. Hers and mine. I wonder if Your here.

She has band aids on all of her toes. Do you already know? I wonder if Your here.

Her blood sugar has gotten messed up. The shots really hurt. She's so afraid. I wonder if Your here.

I'm trying to protect her. I love her like no other. I'm doing the best job I can and still I can't help her. I wonder if Your here.

Did you see this coming? I had no idea. I feel so foolish, but if you already knew? I just wonder...are You still here?

I'm more hurt than angry. I just can't figure it out...are you here.

We're back in Omaha, God. Do you see us sitting here? We feel so alone. It makes me wonder if Your here too.

I'm trying to find you. It's like I'm stumbling around in the dark. Where are You. Is this where we are supposed to be? Did you plan for today to be like it was? Did You know the struggles that were waiting on her? Do You know how much it hurts to watch her hurt? I need You. I need to know You are here. Please. Help our baby. Heal our baby. Hold us close.

My knowledge of You tells me Your here, but honestly God I keep asking myself where you are.