Just to say...

I'm here for a brief moment. Just to say...Thank you.

Steph, Jamie, Bob, I know there were others. I still can't remember, but I know you where there doing all you could. I'm sorry I can't remember each of you that were there with us, but still I want to thank you again.

My heart hurts so deeply. Still days later, I am so deeply hurting. The images. The sounds. The haunting memory.

Do you know how valuable you are? Do you realize what you did for us in those early morning hours? Do you know? I sincerely hope that you do. It was so much more than just "doing your job". You kept her here. You allowed us to keep her. Another day. More moments. Memories to be made. A family of 5 remains. Thank you.

I don't know that any of you read this journal. I really have no idea, but I do know that some of the staff in the unit does. Maybe they will let you know that you kept our world from ending that morning. I hope they will share with you how deep our gratitude truly is.

I will never be able to share with you the level of my appreciation. There are no words. I can't explain it to you. Just know that you held my world together when it was quickly spinning out of control. Thank you for doing your job and doing it well.

I lie awake the last two nights haunted by it all. Truly, it haunts me. I prayed so hard that I would never see her like that again and yet we were reliving the worst day of my life. As I hit the wall, screamed out to my God for His help, and collapsed to the floor, you each kept working on her. Thank you for not giving up easily. Thank you. Forever, Dave and I will say thank you.

With all my heart, I sincerely say to each of you in her room that Friday morning, that we are grateful.

I couldn't give her up so far from home. I can't. Not without her daddy. Not without her brother's protective love. Not without Allie's kisses. I don't know how we will ever say good bye if we are asked to, but thank you for allowing us more time with our sweet Ashley Kate.