Starting Over

Ash is starting to learn to stand again. As soon as she does then we will start learning how to take steps all over again. Her tiny right foot still show signs of injury from the admission last summer. She can't seem to put any weight on her heel. She never places it flat on the ground, but she is getting braver and stronger each day. We are so proud of her ability to overcome again and again. So proud of this little girl. Tonight she stood leaned up at the couch for almost 10 minutes.

Baby steps. At just two months shy of 6 years old our girl is taking baby steps toward what comes so naturally, so easily, so effortlessly to all of us. My heart still aches at all she is unable to do, but it rejoices in all that she is able to do. Still such a tough place to live. Accepting her disabilities without allowing them to define her. In my heart of hearts, although I rarely talk about it anymore, I want my little girl to walk, to talk, to eat, to live like every other almost 6 year old little girl does. I never in my worst of dreams would have imagined that she could not.


Ugh! My heart hurts this week. Having a tough one.

How do I fight off the hurt, the anger, the frustration, the pain, the disappointment and learn to dwell in the good parts of her life? Every single day I fight that fight. Forcing myself to push away the pain, and focus on the blessing. While I watch her struggle and listen to her scream as we force her right foot flat on the ground all of those feeling well up inside of this mommy's heart. Such a pointless, careless, injury that she is still suffering from all these months later.

But...she is here. She is happy. She is living. She is not concerned for one moment that she is unable to walk, or talk, or eat, or run, or go to kindergarten. She is completely content and absolutely filled with joy. I'm striving to live a life like that. It just stings to see her struggle.

So instead of focusing on all of this I'm going to stare at this



This is the face of little girl who is teaching me to live a life like no other. I love her so very much!