Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart

9/17/2006

Ashley's Antics


This morning we took Ashley to church. How wonderful it was to see some of the prayer warriors who daily lift up our Ashley. We sat in the balcony and listened for as long as She would let us. She is so funny. During the music she is captivated. She shakes her tiny hands and dances on her daddy's lap. After she had thoroughly enjoyed every toy and book I had packed in her bag she began to clap and say my mama over and over again. At this point her daddy took her downstairs for a walk while I stayed and finished the service.

Ashley spent the majority of the day sleeping. She hasn't been feeling very energetic the last couple of days. I know she needs a transfusion. Yesterday she decided to do a little re-arranging of her g-tube. David and I were in the backyard and Allie was siiting in the living room with Ash when Ashley had determined she has had enough of that silly tube and out it came.I was so very proud of Allie. She didn't cry or panic when she looked over and saw her baby sister bleeding. She very calmly came out and told us she thought Ash had taken something out of her tummy that was supposed to be there. Sure enough we came in to see an empty hole in her tummy. A year ago we would have all become frantic and rushed to the ER, but we have been through so much of this type of thing we just gathered a few supplies and her daddy popped it right back in. Ashley sure knows how to shake up a lazy afternoon at home. She is a very blessed little girl to have a big sister like Allison.

It has been another week with no phone call from the transplant center. I am trying to just live it day by day but sometimes the day is too much. Lately I find myself living just one moment at a time. It is way to difficult to try and tackle anything else right now. I want to be "content in whatever situation I am in" and count my blessings, but if I am not careful my mind runs away with thoughts of things I have no control over. The night time is the worst for me. As Ashley sleeps and the house is quiet I am not able to rest. I am struggling with nightmares so please pray for rest and peace for me through the night. I want to trust the Father that His will is perfect even while I am at rest, but I seem to have no control of my thoughts while I sleep.

A few nights ago as I tucked Blake into bed we were talking about our Ashley. He asked me if I thought his liver would be too big for Ash. He had been wondering if it would fit could he give it to her so she would a chance to live for 10 years just like he has. My heart was so proud and broken at the same time. He loves her so much he would be willing to go on to heaven so she could grow up. What a burden his tender heart must carry. I assured him that God was in control of Ashleys organ donation and that we would just trust in Him. How very thankful I am to be the mom to 3 incredible little people. I am truly blessed.

As for now please pray that Ashley's g-tube site will begin to clot and stop bleeding from her last little manuver, and that the Father will continue to prepare us all for His plan in her life.

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