A long day
It is not quite 6:00 and it seems like today has gone on forever. We are still in shock about the events that took place this morning. We have been told over and over again that this type of thing never happens. That makes me think there must be a reason behind the accident this morning. Immediately when the line was cut this morning I stepped into the hall to try and collect my thoughts before I spoke. I knew that if I was not careful some things may be said that I could never take back. I was trying to make sense of what was taking place and I remembered that as shocked as I was at that moment God is never surprised or caught off gaurd. How comforting it was to know that I believe in a God who loves my baby enough to never sleep or never be too busy to watch over her. There was nothing I could control at that moment except for my reaction. I could not rewind what had happened to Ashley but I could try to stay calm enough to not lose my testimony around so many people.
I am very nervous and even frightened about the possibility of Ashley developing an infection, but I have to trust Him even now. He has brought us through some very difficult days before and I know He will not fail us today. He knows the future, and maybe He could see something with that central line that I could not. So I am choosing to believe that our Father is protecting Ashley today from things that I don't know of.
Forgiveness is a powerful thing, and even though nothing was done to Ashley intentionally I needed to forgive her nurse. It was a mistake and I don't have the energy to harbor resentment towards anyone. I hope she understands that we are not angry and we are not blaming her for this accident. God is more powerful than any infection that may or may not occur. I have to believe this tonight now more than ever. Without faith I would not have the strength to go on.