Tiny gifts

It is 3:00 and I have just enjoyed an incredibly long nap! My sister arrived around 11:30 just as they had decided to take Ash off of the vent. Ashley had struggled with the vent all night and al morning. She was desperate to have it removed. What an emotional morning for me. Her eyes were pleading for help. They were successful. As soon as it was removed her entire persona changed. How precious she was. God gave me a few moments of our Ashley back. Just as I was sinking in spirit He gave me some "tiny gifts". She wanted to clap her hands as if to celebrate her accomplishment. How wonderful to watch her take her fingers and feel around in her mouth just to check and make sure all of her teeth were still there. She is so funny. She reached out to touch her Aunt Kathy's hand as if to say I'm so glad you are here. We took a little sponge on a stick that is used to wet her little mouth and she grabbed ahold and was not letting go. She sucked every drop of water out of it before deciding she could let go. I am so thankful to know she is still Ashley. It is so frightening to watch her disappear from me, but God is so very good and lets me see the real Ashley every now and then.

After her antics had ended my sister encouraged me to go lie down on one of the couches in the waiting room. I finally felt at such peace. I knew Ashley was with the absolute best baby sitter she could be with and I really slept. I slept so hard it scared me when I woke because 2 hours had passed. I ran around the corner to make sure all was well with Ash and she had been visiting not sleeping with her Aunt Kathy. I am so thankful for the rest and for the tiny gifts He continues to give at just the right times.

Ashley's heart rate is a little lower but still not even close to normal. I am hoping that as things inside begin to settle from last nights surgery that she will stabilize her heart rate. I am eternally grateful for your prayers and your messages seem to drag me along to the next moment. Thank you for caring about our baby and for loving my family and my Father.