Good night from Ash
Our Ashley is up to her tricks again. She has spiked a very high fever, heart rate, and blood pressure tonight. They have sent in the troops and are now taking blood, urine, saliva, stool, and x-rays. Oh how much I want her to wake up and give them a hard time. If only she could become strong enough to breathe on her own then I know she would turn this mess back around. My heart so badly wants to see her eyes and her sweet smile. I am struggling as I sit and watch her lay so still tonight. It has now been 2 whole days since I have seen any sign of my daughter. I know she is there, but I miss her so badly. Father, please allow her to wake up soon.
Things are tough at home tonight. I think Blake and Al are so very tired. Dave called and said they both are claiming that the other is just being so mean to them. This is so unlike the two of them. We think things are beginning to take a toll on them and they are taking it out on each other. As he tucked them in to bed tonight they were both so upset that the other had hurt their feelings. This is really my area. Dave is struggling with this one. He called and said he really didn't know what to do for them. He tried to encourage them that they could not change the other one, but they could change their reaction to the situation. Tonight my heart is heavy thinking that they are divided when they are usually such strong allies for each other. I am trying to remind myself just how hard this is for them, and I think they have done a beautiful job at holding it together for so long. I know they miss us, and I know their hearts carry a heavy burden. We have not told them how sick Ash had become over this past weekend. David and I are praying for things to turn around and for Ashley to be off of the vent before he and Blake arrive on Thursday evening. If not then we will have to prepare him for what he will see. I am dreading this for him. Blake's heart is so very tender towards his baby sister and her suffering. Al will be staying with friends this weekend so she can attend a cheer competition. I know how good this will be for her to just relax and have some fun. She is going to be so excited when we tell her. We are saving this little surprise for Thursday afternoon when her Dad and Blake get ready to leave.
I feel as though my children are under attack today. As a mom I wish that I knew how to fight this battle more effectively for them. I am just praying for many kinds of strength tonight. My family is starting to feel weakened, and I am determined to come out of this valley. He will take care of us all. I know that He will. Tonight I am missing all 3 of my children. I hear no laughter, I see no smiles, I have no way to hold them or hug them. Today has been a tough one, but tomorrow will be better. Goodnight guys. We love you all.
posted by Ashley @ 11:16 PM
4 Comments:
Oh Father, we don't understand why Ashley is having such a roller coaster ride these past several days, but we just pray that You would just give this family an extra measure of strength. They have been through so much Lord, and we just pray that they would find comfort and peace in You. You know their needs better than I, so I just pray that You would meet every need and desire before it is even spoken in prayer.
I pray that You would give David the words to help Blake and Allie through this difficult time, and I pray that You would allow them to be together as a family again soon....they so desperately need each other. I know You have things You are teaching them each and every day, but just continue to help them feel Your presence with them every step of the way.
Give Trish reassurance that she needs as a mom, I can't imagine the heartache she feels being apart from her other two children as they all struggle in their own ways to get through Ashley's recovery. Continue to bless them, and help Ashley to get out of this valley and back up high on the mountain!! We love You, Father, and we thank You for the blessings You have brought us all by giving Ashley another day, and we pray that You would continue giving this family more days, weeks, and years with Ashley. In Your Precious Name I Pray, Amen.
Hang On -
Trish... Dave.... I see your struggles...you are such loving parents & even in your exhaustion....your emotional brokeness...you place your children first & look out for their best interest. God knew that you were the only ones meant to have these 3 very precious children. You were the perfect ones for the job of parenting them. I pray for God's comfort & endurance....& peace ...& love to surround each one of you. I pray that YOU God will let Allie & Blake feel your presence....identify the root of the turmoil in their brother & sister realtionship (the fight last night) & unify them once again. Oh Heavenly father....how much longer shall this sweet family endure this time of trial...? Please father....we lay Ashley before your feet....the high fever....the lab values....her breathing....We humble ourselves before you Lord ....knowing full well ....we can do nothing without YOU. We are not in control but you are.....& Lord we praise you every step of the way. Even in this valley .....we exhault you JESUS. I pray that you would divinely intervene today....help Trish to see her precious baby come back to her.....allow her to breath....allow her to smile....allow her body to fight off this intruder to her system & for her organs to stay healthy.....Oh LORD we cry out that you would allow her to accept nutrition & be taken off the TPN....keep her from vomiting..... Lord you know what healing must take place ....even if we do not. I believe in YOU.....I know that you know our hearts desire....I pray for your will.... & am claiming & standing on your promises for this child. I am praying BIG....for your absolute healing.....IN JESUS NAME I pray.... amen.
My heart breaks for your level of exhaustion, your feeling of being overwhelmed with LIFE, your sadness, your lonliness, your pain, your guilt. Trish, crawl into the arms of your Father and give it all to him. He bottles our tears and he knows every tear we shed. I pray that you got a good nights rest and that today you are refreshed to take on this battle field called life. Thinking and checking on you all day long.
Katy
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