Lost

Well Dave and the kids are finally on their way home and I FINALLY found my way back to the hospital(2 hours later). I cried and cried this time not because they were leaving, but because I was lost. I mean not just a little bit lost, but a lot LOST. I spent my afternoon crying, panicking, and praying. I saw parts of Omaha that I had no desire to ever see. Somehow I mananged to choose the wrong turn (Dave assured me there was only one) and I ended up on a highway that allowed me to drive around the outside of Omaha. I could see the city, but I had no idea how to find my way back in. Lets just say that by the grace of God, I eventually drove until I literally just ended up here. Don't ask me how it happened because I have no idea. Please explain to me how they can call me to ask where a t-shirt or a missing shoe has been hiding when I haven't been home in 3months and from 700 miles away I can find it, but I can't seem to get myself from point A to point B? When I ask Dave how he knows the way to places around Omaha or any where else his answer is the same as it always has been, "I just know things." Well lucky for him he also knows the number to the airport shuttle service because he will be using it next time!

Any way now that I am back at the hospital with Ashley and my heart beat has finally returned to a normal rhythm, I thought that I would like to take a little nap. (Our midnight sledding adventure didn't leave much time for sleep, but oh was it ever worth it! I will remember it forever.) Ashley doesn't appreciate the fact that her mommy is sleepy so she has decided to shake her Tic Tacs with more energy and more passion than I have seen in her in 3 months. I have given up on the idea of taking a nap and have instead enjoyed watching her show off her stuff. She is yelling, "MAAA" at the top of her lungs just to get me to look up at her and tell her what a wonderful job she is doing with those silly things. God has given her a wonderful day. The line placement was very smooth, and she is feeling very awnry. Her Aunt Kathy would be so proud. All of Ash's numbers look great. She looks great, and her lungs sound great. They have reduced her oxygen to 1/2 a liter. I am so thankful for the wisdom her surgeon used in deciding to pull the line. The sticks and pokes were a nightmare, but the line has grown back a positive staff culture. Her recurring infections were coming from this source. We are still going to CT scan this week to look at the possible mold that is growing in her lungs. We are praying it is nothing and that it has disappeared. She seems to be responding to her antibiotics, but we need to make sure she doesn't have this mold infection brewing also.

Blake and Allison are excited to get back to school to see all of their friends, but watching them say good bye to their baby sister was one of the most difficult things I have ever seen. They each had private moments with her this morning and they both cried tears of saddness when they realized it was time for them to go. How precious it is to watch them express the love that they have for one another. Ashley is already missing them. I gave her the picture she loves to hold of them and she began waving and growling at them. "Where are they?", I asked her and she replies by shaking her head "NO, NO." I found myself looking at the calendar wondering when they will be able to come back. I hope it won't be too long.

I am excited to "wait and see what the Lord will do" in our lives this year. Today we are starting the year with a new central line and a new hope of getting our Ashley home. We began feeding her at 5 ccs an hour today and I will be praying our "specific" prayer list for her every day. Although my heart is sad when I look around the room and realize that Dave, Blake and Allie are now gone, I can't help but be so very thankful for the last 2 weeks that God allowed us to spend together. A few of those days we were dangerously close to losing our Ashley Kate, but He showed us that He is still in control and He allowed us to keep her with us. He also sprinkled some wonderful days in between the tough ones and gave us all memories that we will never forget. Our first Christmas in Omaha was a blessed one, and we hope to be back home in Texas celebrating the season next year. Thanks for checking in our little one. We appreciate each of you. Take care and Happy New year. Trish