Rocking and Reflecting

I have spent the morning rocking this sweet baby girl and reflecting on the weeks events. As I realized that it was Friday I almost could not believe that it had been an entire week since her G-J surgery. I would have to admit that this has been one of the most trying weeks since arriving in Omaha. I am exhausted and really feel like sleeping for the entire upcoming week but I know that this is not possible. Ash is having a hard time resting today unless I am holding and rocking her(which I absolutely love to do). She does not want to be placed in her crib to sleep so I have had a difficult time posting any news this morning. She seems to be a little sore and a little grumpy, but I imagine I would be too after going through all that she has this past week.

As I reflect on the daily events and emotions that followed them all I can say is that God has brought us through another tough one. I don't know how I would be holding up if I didn't believe that He truly does have a plan in the works for Ashley's life. This morning the infectious disease team told me that we should have the pathology results by Tuesday of next week. Once I know for sure that we are not looking at cancerous spots in her lungs then I believe I will begin to rest easier. I wish I had the answers already, but I am sure there is some purpose to be served in the waiting. Ash looks really good today even though she doesn't seem to be feeling that good. Her screaming has stopped for the most part and I am so grateful she is getting some relief from her discomfort. She continues to advance on her feedings and I sit and stare at the numbers on the pumps in absolute amazement. What has changed over the past week? I have no idea why she is able to tolerate them now as opposed to the previous18 weeks, but I am just thankful she is being fed. We plan to advance her to 35 ccs per hour by tonight. So far there has been NO vomiting or gagging. I am so excited. Unfortunately our "spots" in her lungs have bought us a minimum 6 week extended stay here in our room at the PICU. When I think about still being here in April it really does astound me. I would have never imagined we would have 6 months logged into the ICU. Oh, well, at least I believe He is working in our lives during this time. Otherwise I am afraid it would be unbearable for me.

I will "have" to go and pick up this precious baby because she has not stopped fussing since I laid her down to type. She just wants to rock and rock, and I am happy to rock along with her. Hopefully we will both drift off to sleep at some point this afternoon. I will touch base with you all once we wake up and she allows me to lay her down for another few minutes. Thanks so much for loving our baby gherkin and for praying for her today. Take care. Trish