Is this Real?
There are days when I ask myself this question a thousand times. Is this real? Did all of these things really happen? Can she really be 20months old today? She is going to be 2 very, very soon. Is this real? Are we really home?
This morning Dave leaned over to kiss me good bye. I woke to jump in the shower before waking up two of the coolest kids I have ever known. I peeked in on our baby pickle all snug in the bed and began to prepare for the day. Is this real?
Did God really, really do all of these things for her? My answer, YES, He DID! He really did give her to us to love. He really did give her the gift of her lifetime on Sept. 26, 2006. He really did pull her through so many times. He really did bring her home again. He really did give her this fearless spirit that says, "I am going to fight until You tell me I should fight no more." He really did do all these things. Is this real?
Sometimes it seems like a dream. Sometimes it is so hard for me to believe. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed by His goodness to us that it can't be real, but it is. He loves us that much. He loves our Ashley so much. He loves you so much.
At any moment of the day I can run to the office to see my amazing husband. I can just stand there in his office and watch him do what he does so well. Just knowing that I am close enough to get to him if I feel I need a hug, a smile, a kiss on my forehead makes me say to myself, "Is this real? Am I really home?" I can talk to my Blake about baseball for hours on end if I choose. I can snuggle up close to Allie and listen to her excitement about Wednesdays (remember they are her favorite) and I can pick up my Ashley and take her outside in the sunshine anytime I like. Is this real? I can go to my refrigerator and take out a diet coke and not have to pay $1.25 for it. Is this real? The plumber is here working right now as I type. Is this real? I am going to be able to wash loads of laundry in my own house with running water in just a few short hours and it won't cost me $3.00 a load. Is this real?
Sunday is Easter. I find myself in awe when I think of what Jesus did for me. Is this real? Did He really die for me? Did He really do all this because He loves me and He WANTS to know me? Is this real? I know that it is. I feel it in my heart. My eyes fill with tears when I remember all that He endured for no other reason except that He loves me.
My life is good. It is really good. It is real. My Ashley is living. She is doing it. He gave her another chance and she is really, really doing it. My heart is so full. My smile can not be erased. I can hear her giggling. I can see her playing. I can't believe this is real, but it is.
posted by Ashley @ 11:39 AM
6 Comments:
I am so happy for you! When I first saw the picture of those darling bunny slippers she was wearing months ago when she was so sick, I prayed that she would be home for Easter so she could find her Easter eggs. God has granted so many prayers of so many people. I cannot believe she is home and she has done so well at home for weeks! She is a special baby and she will grow up to be an incredible person.
I am just now getting the opportunity to read some of your pages on Ashley. I wanted to know how she was doing. I am so happy that she is home. Enjoy every second of her life as you already do. It is real! It must be the best feeling in the world. I remember you used to see Davian in the hallways and tell me you wished Ashley was outpatient. Look at her now! She is in your home. She is where she deserves to be. I am so happy for your family, and I only hope for the best for all of you. I will never forget you even if I don't ever see you again. Take care and give Ashley a kiss from me.
I'm with you, pinching myself daily as I realize that ya'll really are back home in Texas and that I really do get to see Ash daily!!!!! What a huge blessing that is!!!!! Loving you all, Grandma
Trish, it's so good to read these wonderful things from you. Yes, it is indeed real, thanks to a God who really DID do all that for you, me, and all the rest of the world. Isn't He great? Love and Blessings, Karen
Yay! God IS good! He's able to do exceedingly more than we could ever ask or imagine. I'm praying He continues to do that for you and Ashley and your family.
God is good. He is good to each of us in different ways as he blesses us. Spring...is such a reminder of him as the bare trees ...bud...the beautiful flowers bloom.....the brown grass...returns to green. Every detail of nature is amazing....HE left out not one detail. Nor does HE with us....He allows our bodies to mend when we are ill. He heals broken bones....open wounds ...close. HE IS AMAZING. He died for us & Easter is my favorite holiday aside from HIS birthday. HE died for our sins...& HE IS ALIVE!!!! HE HAS RISEN!!! HIS word is ALIVE. Look around you at HIS creation. We can look at our children & see HIM..... & especially when I think of ASH ....I SEE HIM. How far HE has brought her....what works HE has done in others through her. OUR GOD IS AMAZING....nothing short of that. Hugs & prayers...
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