A planned Escape (don't panic, it's legal)
Ash is a little grumpy, but not as much as yesterday. Mommy is not feeling well, but I am sure it will pass. We will not advance feeds today to allow her tummy and bowel to try and adjust a little more. She continues vomiting,coughing, and sneezing. Mine and Ash's plan for the day is to be still. Very, very still and quiet as we spend another day in Omaha together. I am learning that sometimes God chooses to do a work in us at our very loneliest times. Perhaps that is what I am experiencing. I think we will spend a lot of our time resting today and then this afternoon we will escape to the location outside of our windows for a little while(if I can figure out how to get there). It just looks so inviting from way up here on the sixth floor. The wind is blowing today and the leaves are swirling and beginning to pile up down there. I think a good book, a beautiful baby, and a ride in the red wagon is just what we need.
We intend on being absent for a while. I hope you understand. May God bless you today. Love, Trish
P.S.
Our Tarheels won their tournament yesterday. It was beautiful! Blake caught for all 3 games and did a fantastic job! It does a dad's heart good (and a mom's for that matter) to have your son complemented by the umpires after the games. We are so proud of you Blake! God has richly blessed you.
posted by Ashley @ 9:45 AM
38 Comments:
Ma'am, do get out today. :-) Tomorrow it's supposed to be extremely chilly - at least early on! It's that time of year when you have to milk the warmer days for all they are worth!
I hope your time of R&R does wonders for how you're feeling and helps make Ashley's release happen sooner than it would've otherwise!
Take care,
Brenda
Enjoy the outdoors with your daughter.
Hope your day goes well, and you can get outside.
We will be in prayer.
I do agree with Brenda, and hope the person who posted that will be held accountable.
I was in a situation where I had to hold oxygen to my son for hours. It did not seem that the mask was working, and that was because it had been unplugged. The nurse never did check.
I am sure for the most part-the team is outstanding. However outstanding, they are people. People make mistakes. As a Mom, you are making sure there are no mistakes on Ashley.
You have been an inspiration to me as a mother. I have been in the hospital with my son, and it is very exhausting.
Hope you get some rest.
Kay
Know that we love you, Trish and continue to hold you up in prayer as your regroup from this latest attack from the devil.
Last night the sermon was about discouragement. Our pastor reminded us that the devil has two plans:
First and foremost he wants our souls. When he can't have that he goes after our service. The best way to make us ineffective for God is to get us so discouraged that we can't think or see or act clearly.
My prayer for you today is that you will feel God's loving arms around you and your sweet family, and that you can rest in complete abandon in His care. God is still on the throne. He is God and you are His child. You can trust Him. He loves you oh so much!
Trish,
Have a great day outdoors. Thank you for sharing your heart in yesterdays post. My heart is devasted for you. I read up on the links that were posted in the comments. Let's pray that the team of doctors is on your team, not their own agenda. Praying for you and Ash today.
Katy
Praying for your prison time to be a time of growing in Him. Rest and be still. Praying for you to see how BIG God is today! We understand your escape and we will be in pray for you!
ange
Praying for your heart to heal. I am praying for Ash to be able to be back home to her whole family soon. Enjoy your time outside and breath in that nice fall air. (((hugs))) ~Chan~
I'll be praying for trust.
Praying for continued stregth for you, Ashley and your family. May God give you the peace you need. I am also praying that the team see that you are a loving mother whose concern is for her child.
Oh Trish, ya'll are in my prayers. Enjoy the day and I'll pray for peace of heart!
ENJOY the wagon ride :) - please know that my family's prayers are with you and Ashley and your entire family. I read today in Psalm 56 and 57 - it is pre-assigned from a book by Aletha Hinthorn called "How to read the Bible so it changes your life" - it spoke to my heart on many levels but you kept coming to mind - esp verse eight of chapter 56 that says He keeps count of our tears...sweet girl He loves you and Ashley SO much. I will continue to lift you up - watch for a package from my family later this week. Sunshine
Wow Trish. I'm blown away at the last few days events. I pray that you get to enjoy some sunshine with that sweet baby of yours and I'm praying that the staff there gets some rest and a fresh perspective.
You keep praying and doing what you feel the Lord leading you to do while He has entrusted Ash to your care and then You keep your trust placed solely in HIM! He's the only one that loves Ash more than you do! Keep your chin up and know you are loved and prayed for sister! Enjoy the day!!
Val
NC
Enjoy the beautiful weather. I love holding on to these last few days before it starts getting really cold. We try to get out as much as possible. Have a great time!!
Trish,
I think that your "outing" or "escape" is a very well needed one for both of you!! What a great idea! I pray that you have a wonderful day and while you and Ash are enjoying the sunshine I will be praying for you as always!!!
May you have a blessed day!
I just read your 9pm post from last night. My heart hurts so much for you. I wish I could just come and sit and cry with you. An old hymn comes to mind "Fill my cup, Lord, I lift it up, Lord, come and fill this yearning of my soul. Bread of Heaven , feed me 'til I want no more. Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole." When we are empty, He can fill. My prayer is that you will be filled with all wisdom, and the knowledge of God, and that the peace that passes all understanding will guard your heart and mind. Don't feel like you have to rush out of the numbness that I perceive that you feel. Take it in his time. He knows you need to work through the pain. He is patient. Remember Job? Job questioned God alot. God tolerated alot from Job. God could handle Job's honesty, as He can handle yours. And, yes, he is counting your tears, because every one of them is precious to Him. Let Him love on you today. Feel his arms around you. Feel His peace, and experience His tender care. JUst as a side thought, and I know it's HUGE, but maybe Texas needs to move to Omaha? Maybe Grandma and Grandpa, too? That's alot to ask, I know, but you can't face this alone as a single family unit. It may be worth at least praying about.
Praying for you today and for Ashley. May the LORD refresh you both in every way.
Love,
holly
PS Take as long of a break as you need...we will still pray. With much love to you and your family!
Enjoy the day with that sweet pickle! We will still be here praying for you when you get back! Get some rest.
trish, I don't think that it's you that they don't trust. What they can't trust is the unpredictability of Ashley's condition and the delicate balance that she hangs in. If they said it wasn't you personally, that's what you have to believe until they say or demonstrate otherwise. Maybe instead of focusing on progress so that you can go home, what you need to focus on is being content where God has placed you until He makes it clear that it is safe to go home. Don't worry about the "go home" date, or missing the holidays. I know how much you treasure your family and the holidays. It is a precious thing, and an encouragement to all of us. But it's Godliness WITH contentment that brings much gain. Much gain does not come with only one godliness or contentment. You need both to experience all of the blessings that God has for you today. Remember Paul in prison? I'm sure that's how you may feel some days. But He chose to be content, and look what he was able to do for the glory of God while he was in prison and under house arrest! He wrote many of the epistles, and was able to bring the gospel into the homes of Roman government officials! He was content no matter where he was and because of this, he was able to influence (and some were even saved as a result of his testimony)the people who guarded and sentenced him. My prayer for you today is for contentment, no matter what is said or how things may change.
Trish,
"I'll Follow Him in Faith"
"The Lord has blessed me with gospel truth, I have learned His ways in my early youth, I will share my light, for I know its right, to testify of Him.
The Lord has blessed me with simple faith, if I pray for help he will give me strength. I will do His work, I will gladly serve, I'll follow Him in faith.
The Lord has blessed me to feel His love, I have felt His promptings and learned to trust, so in all I do, I'll be faithful to, the things I know are true.
The Lord has blessed me in many ways, with a thankful heart I will sing His praise, I will raise my voice and proclaim my choice to follow Him in faith.
He has shown the way and through all my days, I'll follow Him in faith."
This is a children's song that we just learned this year. I felt prompted to share it with you, I don't know why, but I hope you find it an inspiration. You are an amazing mom. I have been reading about Ashley and your family and have grown to love you and look up to you. The Lord hears and answers our prayers, no matter if we are crying them, thinking them, or just holding them in our hearts. You are not alone, just keep on going on. You are doing an amazing service and being a great example.
With love and prayers,
andi davis
I think that, once again, Dee has hit the nail on the head.More than likely, this isn't an issue of trusting you or not,Trish. You have to believe that Ash's team wants what is best for her, and obviously they feel than she needs to be close to them for any treatment that might be needed on a moments notice. Just hang in there,and trust that your God is in control.
I hope you have managed to get outside today. I'm sure the fresh air, the leaves falling, and God's beauty did you both some good.
-Cari in Arkansas
I've been keeping up with Ashley's story for some time now. You all are in my prayers. You wrote, vomiting, coughing, sneezing....makes me wonder about an allergy to the formula of some sort? My son had severe milk allergies as an infant and was allergic even to the hypoallergenic formulas and those were his symptoms. Just a simple thought in a not-so-simple situation of course. Wishing you all healthy days ahead.
Just checking in on you today...praying for Ashley to get over the vomiting episodes and whatever cold issues she has caught. Praying also that God gave you joy this morning when you awoke. You know He promises us that Joy will come in the morning and I hope that you found it today. Remember not to let circumstances rob us of the joy that He has for us. You are on my mind daily and in my thoughts and prayers. Much love and prayers from Texas
Hoping you and Ash got much needed rest and relaxation today.
I was shocked this morning when I checked the blog.
While I know that many are calling the post unprofessional, it did bring with it some info. First, the knowledge that "the team" read this blog. Second, what the concern was.
I'm wondering if the events of that day and coupled with the posts about longing for home, and family holiday time....made someone or several uneasy.
We know that the Lord directed your path to this hospital, this team. We know that your days and decisions are covered with intense prayer. Our Father in heaven is in control. Not us. Not the team. His plans will not be thwarted...whether that be in Omaha or at home. If it is in His will, you will be home. If it is not, for whatever reason, He will provide another way.
I know this has served as a reminder to me...keep up my prayers. Especially when I'm unaware of what is going on.
I praise His name for the blessing of your family. I am ministered here.
Kristi in Texas
Trish ~ as you have said many times... God chose you & Dave to be Ashley's parents, and you wouldn't trade it for the world. Everything we chose, and God choses for us, comes with sacrifices. You have been the first to say that transplant life is very complicated. Unfortunately there are many sacrifices that are needing to be made because of Ashley's care and there will continue to be more all through Ashley's life. Yes, you love the holidays and always have everything decorated by Nov. 1st. That was before God put Ashley in your life. Life changes, and sometimes drastically to the point we have to create a "new normal". Make new traditions that might be more realistic. It is more important to be the mom that you are right now giving Ashley so much love, than to have your house decorated. Yes, you want to be home in Texas, we all want to see you take Ashley back home so bad. However, when you adopted Ashley, you adopted every part of her. Her physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing, for better or for worse. Being Ashley's parents involves making many sacrifices and one of those is being away from your family from time to time so that Ashley can have the care she needs from the medical team YOU & DAVE CHOSE. You both trusted them because they were the best. They are going to think "medical" not "emotional", so there are going to be times when you won't see eye to eye. We are all praying for you and every part of this situation. God is in control - not us, and His timing is perfect even if we can't understand it and it doesn't make sense to us. If we say we trust Him, that means we trust Him in everything. When you chose to adopt Ashley you knew there would be many sacrifices on your family.... God brought Ashley to you, and He will take you through these hard times. Sit back and release everything to Him... your dreams, your wants, your desires. Sometimes when we seurrender EVERYTHING to Him He gives us more than what our original dreams and desires were. Know that you are loved and prayed for every minute of the day. Allow God to wrap His loving arms around you and hold you close tonight as you release yourself to Him.
Just a thought-I know you can put something on here-so that people cannot post anonymous...must sign in. So, not sure if that would help with some of the bad posts.
In prayer, Lee
Trish,
i think you are a wonderful mom. i'm sure the medical team agrees. Remember they have been down a similar road many times. They have seen how quickly a child can lose ground. I really think they are just concerned for Ashley's well being. I will pray specifically for wisdom for her team and for you,her family. You've gone through so much and have come so far. Wait patiently on God's timing. I know that's not easy.I know how very tired and homesuck you must be. Again praying for wisdom for all involved in Ashley's care.
Trish, I'm sorry there have been so many ups and downs lately there in Omaha. We continue to pray for you every single day, and I'm hoping tomorrow is a better one.
Hello, sweet Trish - honey, I am just stunned! I cannot believe all that has transpired the last couple of days.
Sweetheart, ya know, just as God is working for you - with the prayer of all of those who care about you and your family, there is also the "dark" side that is working hard to TRY to knock you down. I pray that God will shield you and your precious,unwavering heart against the words that sting and cut you to the quick. While I am upset about the medical "professional," I am more upset about the "syndrome," "illness," "the doctors could be suspicious" posts. That is the MOST ridiculous thing I have ever in my entire life read! Honey, you should write a BOOK about how to be a wonderful, Godly, mommy and publish it...everyone could learn a lesson from you! I am stunned that anyone would say such hurtful and ugly things. HOWEVER, if God is for YOU, my friend, then WHO can be against you??? No one! Our Saviour has overcome the WORLD!! Isn't that great news?
So, you just keep your chin up! My son and I almost have you care package ready to send off. I apologize for the delay...we have had the best time picking out things for you guys ( I picked for you...Kyle picked for Ashley..:o)..)! Anyway, I have your CD and I cannot WAIT for you to get it (I hope your CD player can play MP3)! But I wanted to share some words with you from a MercyMe song:
Another rainy day,I can't recall having sunshine on my face. And all I feel is pain and all I want to do is walk out of this place. But when I am stuck and I can't move and I don't know what I should do and I wonder if I'll ever make it through...I gotta keep singing, I gotta keep praising Your name- You're the only One who's keeping my heart beating. I gotta keep singing...I gotta keep praising Your name, that's the only way that I'll find healing. Now, can I climb up in Your lap, I don't wanna leave, Jesus sing over me...I gotta keep singing. Can I climb up in Your lap..I don't wanna leave!, Jesus sing over me...I gotta keep singing.
I love this song! I think I may have posted some of the words to this song on here for you before, so I must REALLY want you to hear it!:o)
You are so very loved! You gotta keep singing, honey! God is so very, very proud of His child!
Continuously praying...
In Christ,
Amy
I am praying for you and Ashley and the family back home. I am praying for renewed stregnth to get through this holiday season. I am praying for peace, comfort, and for you to find joy in the little things that fill up your day with Ash.
I LOVE the holidays. I don't have any children yet and I can't begin to imagine how much more exciting they will be with them in tow so I am praying for creative ideas to come your way on celebrating this season!
I know that alot of people mean well while commenting and in some instances I think "the team" may be some of the anonymous posts on here trying to make up for what was said earlier. My prayer is that what people choose to comment is only uplifting and encouraging. If they have constructive advice they would like to give you, maybe consider putting it in a private email or just hold off for a while. My prayer is that you will truly find a way to escape during your time away!
April in TN
Still praying for you all.
Beth
Just wanted to send our love and prayers. I also wanted to say I think Dee may be right too. When Landen was in the hospital, before we found out he had rickets, our care for him was questioned by someone. It tore me up completely. I would never do anything to harm him. For days I was upset and worried. It ended up being nothing. It was one person who knew nothing about his case. I am saying this because I was so upset over something that was a misunderstanding. When I first read your journal, I didn't take it that they think you would ever do anything to hurt Ashley. I thought that they were just worried about her condition and wanted to be able to watch her closely. I know it doesn't make it any better. You will still be in Omaha instead of Texas. I do know that we all believe in you and know what an awesome mom you have been. What an awesome family God chose for Ashley. We will continue to pray for all of you and if you ever need to talk to someone who has gone through only a small amount of what you have, I am here to listen. Love you guys!
Praying for you and caring for you in WA. No words of comfort or wisdom. i don't have any that would suit. But, I'll keep on keeping on with the prayer. He loves you all so...
Praying for God's healing.
Trish,
I can sure see why you would need a break away from here. You started your blog as an outlet to journal your feelings and you have openly shared your heart on here and have said it comforts you to write and so eloquently you do.
I feel so bad at some of the things you have to read here tonight and the preaching and sermons you have to read that tell you HOW you should think and feel. You must feel so judged instead of encouraged and uplifted and loved right now.
I as well agree with April from TN and Amy that no one can tell you HOW to feel and preach to you what to them is the RIGHT was to feel right now and how you should be thankful, etc. You are nothing but thankful time in and time out on here on the most hardest of times and days.
I have thought of you all day.
Cheryl
Praying for you this evening and asking God to give you an extra big hug tonight! Love and prayers from Longview
You lead such an honest and open life. You are human and you have ups and downs and disagreements and disappointments. Keep being an example and praying for God to work as big as He wills. You have been blessed with a huge loving heart and you show it every day in the care that you give to Ashley that only a mom can do. The doctors have been blessed with skill. Little Ashley has been blessed with all of you to take care of her. I pray that God will give her the best of the both of you so that she can get home with her family as soon as possible. Keep up your good work.
Hugs!!! I will continue to keep your whole family in my prayers as well as "the team".
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