It warms my heart

to look in the room and see my 12 year old "baby" lying in the floor blowing bubbles for his baby sister.

On the drive home from school I asked Blake to tell me one thing that God did for him today that blessed him. His answer warmed my heart. "Allowing you to be home to pick us up from school." It wasn't just an answer he knew I wanted to hear. I could see it on his face as he tried not to cry. He really and truly meant it. Oh, if I could make sure that I never, ever had to miss even one day of that carpool line! He is growing up so fast. Too fast. I don't have too many more years to pick this child up from school. He has already begun to plan how much money he needs to save each year in order to buy a car of his own. He is already planning where he wants to go to college. My time with him in my home, is growing short. "Is there anything I can do for you or Ashley Kate before I go to bed?" That is what he just said to me. Have I ever told you how much I LOVE my son? As I tucked him in he asked me to rethink Allie's discipline for an unacceptable behavior she did against him. His heart was heavy and broken just knowing her punishment was going to take away something she had really been looking forward to. "Her apology was sincere. I really think she meant it and is very sorry. I forgave her already". He loves his two sister's very, very much. It warms my heart to see that in action.

It warms my heart to hear Allie say, "Well, HI baby girl" the moment she opens the door and sees Ash in the car after school. She is the first person she speaks to and then she spends the drive home playing and entertaining her. "I think she is happy I am the one who sits next to her in the car." I think she's right! It warms my heart to see how upset Al gets when she sees us doing what is necessary to take care of Ashley Kate. Even though what we are doing is for her good Allie feels the need to protect her from any unhappiness, discomfort, or pain. She loves this baby girl and it warms my heart to know that God made her a big sister. She wanted this baby so bad. For years and years she would pray for a baby sister. She would ask me repeatedly, "When is daddy going to go buy us a baby?" That used to make me giggle. Allie thought you bought babies from the hospital. She NEEDED to know how much money she and Blake cost. She wanted us to "save" our money so we could go buy our baby. It warms my heart to see their relationship continue to develop even though they are forced to spend many weeks apart. When we come home they pick right back up where they left off. Ashley Kate's eyes light up when Allie sits down on the floor with her to play. When I think of the joy that will be on Allison's face the day that Ash finally takes her first step it warms my heart. She more than anyone desires to see Ashley Kate walk and talk like other babies.

It warms my heart to have her cuddle in close to me each morning as I pick her up from her crib. To feel her little hands patting me in a gesture that says, "I love you mommy.". It warms my heart to stand over her sleeping body and see the rise and fall of her chest and know that she has made it again. NO longer breathing because of a tube that in down her throat. It warms my heart to hear her giggle as my fingers wiggle above her as she anticipates being tickled. She smiles that toothy smile that spreads over her entire face. It warms my heart to see her applaud. With every emotion inside of her to express her joy in a situation. It may be because her movie has started again. It may be because I am putting on her shoes to take her outside. It may be because her daddy just stepped into the room. No matter what inspires the applauds it warms my heart. I remember a time when she had forgotten how to clap those tiny hands. It warms my heart to know that I am the one who was chosen to be her mommy. It warms heart to see that she loves me. It warms my heart to have brought her home.

It warms my heart to here in this place. It warms my heart to be here in our home with the children. To have the privelage of raising them. To know them. To love them. To be near them.