Taking Its Toll

This little pickle is exhausted. The meds, the travel away from home, the rejection, and now the possible infection(her culture grew back gram positive cocci,either staph or strep), the in and out of nurses and doctors, and all that has happened to her the last 10 days has taken its toll on her. She is so very tired. She is weak. She has no sparkle in her eye. She's just plain worn out.

She has been asleep since 7:30 last night and continues to be at this moment. She and I slept next to each other on the floor on top of her rug and she didn't move a muscle all night long. If you prayed for us to get some rest then I say Thank You. We slept better than we have in over a week. It was a great blessing.

This morning will prove to be very busy for her. I'm glad she rested well, because we will be changing the dressing on her new PIC line. This line was placed on her arm where there is very tender skin. She has never had a line anywhere near this position and it will take more than myself to hold her down while we attempt to keep it in her arm. She will also be receiving another new g-tube. This will be painful because her sight is a mess. Lots of irritation and lots of granulation tissue. It currently bleeds whenever I touch it and she screams each time I have to clean it or dress it. I'm not looking forward to it.

I am so thankful to have this rug in our room. I'm afraid without it she would lose the strength she has. She isn't moving around a lot, but she is moving. Using her arms and legs. Sitting. Reaching. Playing. Signing. Her eyes are a little empty and I could count the number of smiles I've seen the last two weeks on one hand. The rug has enabled us to be close, to snuggle, and to spend our days together as opposed to her being in the crib and me on the couch. I love that it resembles much of our time spent at home. It is on the rugs, on the floors of our home where Ash and I spend much of our days. We play, nap, do therapy, and almost everything down there. So this rug here in Omaha is a blessing. It reminds her of home and makes our days much, much easier. I am thankful.

I see her eyes peeking at me now. Little does she know that she's getting a good bath and shampoo before anything else. She won't love it. In fact, I'm pretty sure she's going to hate it, but a girls gotta be clean and smell good.

Hope your day is blessed. I appreciate more than you will ever know the kind words of encouragement during this emotional time and your prayers for our sweet Ashley. I can't imagine how lonely I would be without the connection we have to all of you. So Thank You again for your time spent here.