This Morning

I sit. I listen to the sounds of beautiful Christmas music that fills our room this morning. I stare at the face of my sweet Ashley Kate as she has finally found rest. It was a very long night for her. I snuggle in as close to Dave as I can in this hospital room and absorb the warmth of his hand on mine as the cool Nebraska air slips in through the window. I heard the sweetest sound on earth this morning as my phone rang at 6:30am. "Good Morning, Mommy. I love you." Allie had opened her eyes and realized she was sleeping when we called to wish her good night and the first thing she thought of this morning was calling me. How honored I am to hold that place in her heart. Her sleepy voice was exactly what I needed to wake up to this morning. I sit and picture the smile on my son's face when he sees his baby sister next week. Oh, how I long for that moment.

Its Sunday. Exactly one month since we woke our first morning back here in Nebraska. That morning I had no idea what lay in store for our Ashley. All I knew is that she was fragile, again. She was sick and she was hurting again. My heart was aching from the thought of another hospital stay so far from all she knows and loves. So far from all I know and love. Dave and I battled our way through that day as we listened to the plans they had for her. Little did we know that the Lord would move mountains for us in the upcoming weeks. Little did we know that she would feel the amount of pain that she would. Little did we know that she would wake up and start to recover one morning. Little did we know that a compassionate, incredible doctor had joined our team of surgeons. Little did we know that we would have a chance, an opportunity, a window to actually make it home in time for those holidays our hearts had secretly begun to grieve. Little did we know.

What I find incredibly comforting is that even though it was little that we knew, it was not so little that the Father knew. He was in control that very day and as I sit here this morning with anticipation of tomorrows news He is in control still. My heart is so close to rejoicing, but yet holds back for the knowledge that it may all come crashing down depending on who walks through our door tomorrow morning.

"Mommy, are we taking her? To our vacation, I mean? Is she going to get to go for Christmas? Are we still going to put up our Christmas trees? and decorate our house?" Allison Brooke was rattling off questions before I could even answer the first in her sleepy voice this morning.

"If she's well enough we are taking her."

"Yes, to the castle you want her to see."

" I think she'll be home for Christmas."

"As soon as we walk in the door."

"Yes, sweet girl, the whole house."

I can't wait. I know so many things can happen. I realize how hurt and heart broken the children will be if it doesn't happen, but I couldn't help but share with them to encourage their hearts this weekend. We all needed the encouragement.

This morning Dave and I will pack up as much as we can send back on his flight. We will sort through what I think we will need for our "short stay" in Louisiana and perhaps mail or give away the rest. I'm almost afraid to put anything into a suitcase, but realize that if I don't get his help with it I may not make it to the plane on time with my Ashley, if we get to go.

We are still praying about the transfer. Asking the Lord to make it happen if it could be inside of His will for our family. Knowing all the while that at a moments notice we will return here, to where the best in the world have assembled, to give her the very best care when she requires it.

Your prayers for our family and for our baby are coveted. Thank you for caring enough to lift us up today. May you enjoy your families, your blessings, and all you have been given this day. Trish