The right road

Maybe not for everyone, but definitely for us. For this smile, those eyes, and that face I'd walk it a hundred times. I know its tough. Trust me, I know its tough, but I'd choose to take this path again and again and again.

I know families who are facing the tough decision of whether or not they should begin on this journey. As they struggle with the terminal illness of their child and they struggle with the choice of going to transplant or not I have no words of wisdom. I can't tell them if it would be right or wrong for them. I can offer no advice. I can only show them this face and share with them that for us it was the right road. We began our journey more than two years ago and we have never looked back.

This morning as I began my day I found myself thanking God for this opportunity once again. Even though we are away from home, missing Dave and the kids, struggling to find that "normalcy" in a very not normal situation I couldn't help but whisper "thank you". Thank you that she is still here. Thank you for her joy. Thank you for her life. Thank you for her spirit. Thank you for her organs. Thank you.

I am so grateful to have her with us. I am so grateful that she has survived this long. I am so grateful for each day, each moment, each experience, and each memory that we make. I held her on my lap this afternoon and listened to her giggle away. My heart was so full in that moment as I rocked our baby girl. She was so silly. Oh, how I melt each time she smiles at me. When her tiny hands reach out to hold mine I get this overwhelming feeling of joy. She is so precious and I know in my heart that transplant was the road we were supposed to take.

Its been a long and tiring few years and I don't see it getting any easier for her, but I wake each day ready to lace up my shoes and get moving a little further down the path. I can't believe we are beginning the year that she will turn 4 years old. It amazes me to see her now and remember her then. Back to that tiny 2lb baby that I tiptoed up to in the NICU. As she lay across my lap with her head on my knees and her legs stretched far past my head this afternoon I couldn't help but be amazed at the goodness of our God. She used to lay on my lap when she was no more than 3lbs. Her tiny legs didn't even stretch far enough to touch my chest and now she is so big! I love her. I love her so much.

As tired as I am and as discouraged as I have been over this admission I can honestly say to you that our time together is so precious. She and I spend many, many days and hours alone. We try to live life as normal as we possibly can in this hospital as we wake each day. We get up, get dressed, fix her hair, and start to play just as if we were in our own home.

Tonight I have a thankful heart. I'm just so thankful for the opportunity we were given. To choose this road is a hard choice to make, but to still be walking it with our tiny pickle in tow is a miracle. Nothing short of a miracle. Its been 2 years, 3 months and 9 days since our transplant journey began and here we sit in that same hospital ready to put an end on today and to wake tomorrow to make it 2 years, 3 months and 10 days. God is good. He is very, very good. I'm so glad He led us to the right road.