Were in Trouble

Those are the words from rounds this morning. "We are backed into a corner and are punching our way out. There are no easy answers here. Its going to be rough."

This infection is dangerous. We may not be able to save this line. Currently the infection is growing in the site of the wound. We cultured the inside of the wound and the drainage from it. Its not in the catheter or her blood steam. "How do we keep it out?" I asked.

"I'm not sure that we do. For now she is relatively stable. We cover her with broad spectrum and fight our way through this. Its all dangerous from here on out."


Panic. Surging up inside of me. Panic. We have very little options if we lose this line.

Option number one: The "higher ups" (thats what the surgeon called them) in inteventional radiology feel like they could "bust" through the blockage. "How do we protect the pericardial sac and her heart?" my question to him. His answer, "We don't". There is no guarantee. Its all dangeous. I can't tell you this will work, but it is an option." Panic. Again. Surging up inside of me. I've been there before. I've seen them puncture her pericardial sac. I've watched the crash cart roll into her room and a team of doctors jump on top of my daughter. Literally. Breaking ribs and compressing her chest willing her heart to beat again. I've lived that nightmare. I don't know that we can do it again.

Option number two: Tunneling through from the femoral, busting their way all the way up to her neck and doing a cut down to bring the catheter out her neck. His words not mine. Busting. Tunneling. Cut down. Its getting ugly now.

Option number three: GOD PROTECTS HER FROM THIS INFECTION AND KEEPS IT FROM SPREADING. ITS THE ONLY WAY. PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS THE ONLY WAY ITS GOING TO GO.