My list

Tonight my heart is heavy with the weight of many things and I feel the tears welling up inside of me.  As I sit here in the dark wondering just how and what and if and when we will ever clear this infection from Ash's line I began to think of the gifts in my life instead of dwelling any longer on the worry and the fear.

So here goes...

Tiny hugs and kisses from a deliciously shampooed baby girl

A long car ride home last night with the very best 16 year old kid I've ever known

An afternoon visit from a friend

Laughter spilling out from our Allie and one of her BFF's in the back seat of our old car

The sounds of Nora Jones softly playing in Ashley Kate's bedroom tonight

Home.  The place I  come to sit, to escape,  to relax and allow the whole world to slow down if even for just a moment

A message found on my email tonight from my cousin with her plans to attend Ash's 7th birthday.  Thank you SO much for loving her.  It means the world to me.  Hope to see you there:)

Dave

Three baskets made in the game tonight off the hands of Allie B.

Giggles

The robin who hopped around my feet this morning as I watered the tomatoes in Dave's garden

Iced Tea

The phone call made to the office this afternoon offering to loan the bales of hay for Ashley's Acres to us.  Thank you Angie:)

Baseball and the little boy who grew up to be a young man that loves the game so much

My mom's willingness to be such a help to me

Grandma Mary's quilt and how it feels, smells, and makes me remember nights spent at her house as a child

Strawberry plants and how incredibly sweet those tiny blooms are.  I smile every time I walk out back to look at them.

Holding his hand

Her beating heart, breathing lungs, and survivor's spirit.

Grace

Thank you Teresa for the gift.  I dove into the pages this weekend and it came at a time in this journey where I had begun to fee lso weary.  The words on the pages are bringing me back to the place I so need to be.  I began my list of 1000 tonight.  Just thought I'd share the first 20.