No improvement

Its been such a hard week.

 We haven't seen Ashley Kate bounce back like she always seems to do, and in all honestly we haven't seen any improvement in her condition since the fevers and vomiting ceased.  She remains in her bed unwilling to move.  She's been there for days and days now.  I haven't seen her smile or heard her laugh since a week ago today.  Her body is swollen so large it causes her breathing to be labored and her eyes are almost sealed shut.  The eyelids are so heavy with fluid she can't keep them open.  She's had some really rough nights.  Night before last we didn't sleep at all because of how bad she was feeling.  She moaned and grunted with every single breath.  I was really afraid for her.  Last night was a little better, but not by much.  I'm afraid to be away from her and so I sit and wait for someone to make it home before I take a shower or get dressed every day.  Its a weird feeling I have inside of me.  I just know we need to stay to close to her.

Clinically there isn't anything else that can be done to help her through this infection.  She is being treated with  some very strong IV antibiotics.  Her respiratory status is stable and therefore it needs no intervention.  Her O2 sats are in the mid 90's and although her respirations sound so heavy they aren't elevated and she seems to be getting adequate oxygen to her body so there is no need for support at this time.  Her heart rate is down to a more normal range and she is no longer running any fever or vomiting.  There isn't anything that can be done to pull the swelling out of her body and that seems to be the main side effect this infection is having on her... severe swelling in her tissues.  Her body is heavy, heavy, heavy and she can't tolerate sitting up for more than just a little while at a time.

Her only request each day is to drive.  She hears me in her room and slips one hand out from under her blankets to sign "car".  She wants to be in the car.  We have taken her out each night for a drive and tonight we will take her again.  I promised her we would take her as soon as her daddy comes home.  She continues to ask every single time I'm in there and if thats what makes her happy today then thats what I'm going to do.  Blake is pitching in the game tonight and we have decided to drive Ash to the game and then remain in the car while she rests in the back. We removed the seats and her wheel chair and made a soft bed in the back for her.   I'm just not comfortable having someone else sit with her at this time.  I think we need to stay close to her.  My mom is coming to help early next week which will allow me to get some sleep, take more timely showers, and leave the house from time to time to run errands and attend Blake's games.  A week ago if you had told me Ash would be in this condition I would have seriously doubted you, but this is where we are.  I haven't seen a line infection take a toll on her body this severely in a very long time.

She's pretty miserable and other than the occasional dose of Tylenol and her antibiotic nothing can be done for her.  She's got to fight her way back from this infection and until her body decides to overcome it we are in for some long and miserable days.  I can feel the emotional toll its taking on me.  I barely had two words to say all day yesterday.  I felt awful for not being able to shake it off, but my worry and concern for her was overwhelming.  I simply hate to see her this way.  I know she's hurting.  She's not smiling.  Not playing.  Not laughing.  She's a shell of who she was a week ago.

Stupid infections!  Thats about the nicest thing I can say about them.

Thank you for your prayers.