How long has it been
How long has it been since we last touched your face?
How long has it been since we last kissed your cheeks?
How long has it been since we last brushed your hair?
How long has it been since we last rocked you to sleep?
How long has it been since we last saw your smile?
How long has it been since we last heard you laugh?
How long has it been since we last told you how much you were loved?
How long has it been since we last checked on you in your sleep?
How long has it been, precious Ash, since you left for Heaven?
How long has it been since we began longing for this life to end?
How long has it been since Heaven became sweeter?
How long has it been since Jesus became more real?
The passing of days in this life does not heal a heart that has been broken by grief. The counting of time is a reminder of not only how long it has been since we have had you here with us, but it is also a reminder of how many days closer we are to being with you again.
Its been 1,095 days since you left for Heaven. My heart has ached for all 1,095 of those days, and yet it has also rejoiced for you. You have been with Jesus now for every one of those days, and I know there are no words in this life that can describe the sights that have you seen. Precious girl, we rejoice for you that you have finished your race. Still my tears fall freely, and my heart hurts daily because I miss you so very much. The belief of Heaven does not end the suffering of a broken heart. But oh to know that you no longer suffer the pain of a body that did not work is enough for this mommy's heart to rejoice for YOU! Tears do not fall from your eyes anymore. That is a comfort for me.
How long has it been since I last saw you?
I see you everyday sweet girl. I see you in my memories. I see you asleep in your bed when I walk into your room. I see you playing with your toys when I peek into the playroom. I see you sitting on your "perch" in our foyer as I glance over that way. I see you sitting in the big chair that you loved so much. I see you scooting across the floor on your way down the hall. I see you here, around me, in the memories I have stored up for this life. One day I will see you again...face to face...but for now I see you in all the places where you used to be.
1,095 days closer. We are 1,095 days closer to seeing you there. Don't give up on us sweet girl. We are stumbling, and struggling, and scratching our way through each day, but we are surviving them. We will one day all be together again. Its the only way we are making it without you here. Knowing that we will see you again some day.
You are forever loved... forever missed...forever 8.