Gone Again, but Still Here

Our precious Ashley is now paralyzed once again. She is so gone from me right now, but at the same time I am so thankful that she is still here. Although I can't see "her" at this moment, I have the privelage of watching her sleep. I love to just stare at her and try to take in all that He is doing inside of her tiny body. I must have placed a thousand kisses on her head, her fingers, and her toes. I could feel her little hand relax as she drifted off to sleep. I wanted her to know that I was there with her so I was holding onto her sweet little hands. She smells so sweet. She is all tucked in with her butterfly blanket wrapped around her little self keeping her safe and warm. I could look at her forever and never grow tired. Sometimes I still can't believe that she is ours. How wonderful and special she is. Why am I the lucky one who gets to be her mom? Of all the little ones in all the world I know with all that I am that she was created to be my daughter. The way she looks at me fills my heart with a joy that can't be explained. I wish you all could see the spirit that He has given to my Ashley. One look into her eyes and you can just feel how wonderful she is. Someday I hope you will all get to meet the little one who is the life behind Ashley's story.

Tonight I am so thankful that she is here and that I am in this place with her. She gives more to me than I could ever give to her. Everyday I learn from this tiny person who God really is to me. Without Ashley I may have never really seen the depth of His love. Each day is a gift from the Father and tonight I am thanking Him for this day He gave to me to spend with Ash. Although she is gone from me, she is still here for me to touch and to love and to pray for and to hope for. She inspires me to keep fighting the fight. She inspires me to keep praying to the Father. She inspires me to keep loving people. She inspires me to keep going and to never grow tired. Another day with Ashley brings me another step closer to Him. She may be gone for a while, but she is still here.