Whispers...

It seems that at every turn this morning I am hearing the whispers of others about my sweet Ashley. As I woke this morning in her room I listened to the sound of whispers as they tried to be quiest enough not to wake me. Those whispers didn't bother me too much. As I walked out of her room and around the corner I overheard the words, "your kidding, not Ashley" (this phrase "not Ashley" seems to follow us and haunt us). When they saw me they immediately began to whisper. As I came out of the restroom and headed over to take a shower I once again heard people begin to reduce the tone of their conversation back into a whisper once they looked up and saw me.

A whisper is not always a bad thing. Sometimes a whisper between David and I can contain the sweetest message meant for no one else but me. Those whispers make my heart smile. One day as Allison and I stood outside Cinderella's castle at Disney World and listened to her sing, my sweet Allison tugged on my shirt and I bent down to hear her whisper, "See Mommy, she is right. Dreams really do come true!" Allie had dreamed of this day for years and we were finally there. That whisper was a priceless memory that has flooded my heart time and time again. Blake and I share a whisper before he takes the plate each weekend, "you da bomb mom" he whispers to me through the fence. Oh, how I love my son! Unfortunately today the whispers I hear are not sweet messages from my family, but instead I fear they contain that "ugly" word that I am choosing to hate. Today the whispers are about my sweet Ashley, and I just pray that they are wrong.

Today will be filled with lots of procedures and tests. Each one will tell a story about what is taking place in my youngest daughters body. I am praying for answers and solutions. I know this is not the end of Ashley's story. This is just another chapter in her recovery and we will face it with confidence and strength and be better for it at the end. For now I am choosing to go back to the safety of my daughter's room where my tiny princess sleeps. So unaware of what the day holds for her. She is resting on a bed full of soft, pink blankets, listening to the sounds of my favorite christmas carols, and when she awakes she will see the most beautiful tree covered in twinkling lights and the most precious ornaments all hand chosen for her. They all think we are crazy around here, but they just don't know me the way my friends and family do. I just look at them all and smile as I walk back into our winter wonderland. It really is a beautiful place to rest. Take care today and may He bless you with the excitement of the holdiay season as it quickly approaches.