I just stood by helplessly and watched as God once again spared my daughters life. Her blood pressure dropped dangerously low and she was purple for a time. I think it was a combination of infection, sedation drugs, dehydration and hyperventilation that brought her so close to death again. As I found myself watching what unfolds and praying for my Gherkin I also found myself questioning my prayers. How miserable is it that I am second guessing if I should be asking God to spare my child. What a sinking feeling that I had as I was watching my child struggle and at the same questioning if I have a right to ask God to let me keep her. Please pray for Trish and I that we can do the best we can do. We did not get a manual with Ash that told us how to handle the emotions of a sick child. God did give me a manual on how to pray and up until this morning I thought I was doing a pretty good job of it. I do pray for God's will and I also pray that Ashley remaining a part of our family is part of His will.
For those of you who are commenting. Thank You!! It is really helping me to see the positive uplifting words of so many as I struggle today. Please keep them coming.