Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart

12/26/2006

Update

I just stood by helplessly and watched as God once again spared my daughters life. Her blood pressure dropped dangerously low and she was purple for a time. I think it was a combination of infection, sedation drugs, dehydration and hyperventilation that brought her so close to death again. As I found myself watching what unfolds and praying for my Gherkin I also found myself questioning my prayers. How miserable is it that I am second guessing if I should be asking God to spare my child. What a sinking feeling that I had as I was watching my child struggle and at the same questioning if I have a right to ask God to let me keep her. Please pray for Trish and I that we can do the best we can do. We did not get a manual with Ash that told us how to handle the emotions of a sick child. God did give me a manual on how to pray and up until this morning I thought I was doing a pretty good job of it. I do pray for God's will and I also pray that Ashley remaining a part of our family is part of His will.
For those of you who are commenting. Thank You!! It is really helping me to see the positive uplifting words of so many as I struggle today. Please keep them coming.
DAVE

14 Comments:

At 2:54 PM , Blogger Sarah's In the Midst of It said...

Praise God that she has been spared again! I'm praying specifically for you and Trish to hold on. The Bible says that when we don't know how/what to pray, that the Holy Spirit will intercede for us. You can trust Him to know what to pray when you don't! He is faithful, and He loves you each more than you can comprehend--hold onto that today.

 
At 2:57 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying constantly for your sweet little one. Do not doubt your prayer life...God knows your heart.

Ashley is very special to very many of us out here holding her up in prayer...remain close to our Lord...~~hugs~~

 
At 3:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dave and Trish - NEVER second quess your prayers for your child. You have every right - God gave you that beautiful child to keep and love - HE did that for a reason. Keep loving her and praying for her life. We are praying for you too - God Bless you and that sweet angel. She is heaven sent!!!

 
At 3:02 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dave, Never second guess your prayers. It makes me mad beyond belief that "the comment" that was made this morning is making your family second guess. You are an amazing family with such strong Faith in the Lord and your Faith has been such an inspiration to each and every one of us. God knows what you are feeling -it is OK to Pray for her to live. What happens after that "will be HIS WILL" ! As much as we hate that and we want him to leave her here with you, it may not be "his will", but we can beg and plead for him to leave her on this earth and to be able to feel and tell about the LOVE that her parents have for her. You Pray what your heart and soul wants--He "KNOWS" OUR hearts anyway and he knows you would rather Ashley be with you than any other place. Satan is wanting you to question your PRayer life, he is trying to make you give her up... WE CANT LET HIM INTERVENE WHEN YOU HAVE COME SO FAR and have been such an amazing testimony for so many people. Pray for Ashley to heal and PRAY for the one who questions your right to PRAY for what you Want!

 
At 3:16 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so glad to see that GOD has once again pulled Ashley through. As hard as it may be, try to put that persons comments out of your head. No one can understand your situation unless they have stood by the bed of a critically ill child. I can't imagine any parent not praying for their child's life to be spared, and to keep their child here on earth with them. My prayers with you.

 
At 3:44 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please don't second guess your prayers. Didn't King David fast and pray for his son to live? Although the outcome wasn't what he was praying for, he accepted God's will and I believe you would do the same IF God so chose to take her home. But while you go through this, He hears your prayers and those of others. He is STILL in control and works ALL things for good. I pray for peace and understanding at this time. Please don't let the devil get a foothold in your thoughts and prayers right now, especially now. Keep the faith and God will bless you!

 
At 3:47 PM , Anonymous amy borden said...

What an important reminder to be careful with our words.

When Morgan was at her lowest point my mother came to visit and brought with her the book Praying the Scriptures For Your Children by Jodie Berndt. Something I read really stuck with me... "When you pray for your children's health and safety, it helps to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus ~ not on the circumstances."

Lord,
As we pray for ASHLEY do not let us be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let us always remember to present our requests to you. And let your peace, which transcends all understanding, guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus.
AMEN

 
At 3:52 PM , Blogger Kathie Brown said...

Never doubted for a minute that you did not want God's will for your child's life as well as for the rest of your family. But it is not wrong to pour out the desire of your heart to God, and remember that the spirit the dwells within you is also interceding on your behalf. Joining you in prayer. Love you guys.

 
At 4:13 PM , Blogger Jenny said...

Please don't doubt how you are praying for your little Ashley. God knows and understands your feelings, emotions and what you are going through. Continue to approach His throne boldly, as this is a priviledge he gives to his children! I think of your Ashley and your family often and will also continue to lift you up in prayer. I'm so thankful that she was able to be off of the vent for Christmas and that she was spared today!! May God comfort you today.

 
At 4:15 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please never doubt that God is in charge of her life no matter how or what words you pray when you do. I am so very sorry that the one bad comment from someone ever reached you. I know what it is like to feel crushed by one person's mean remark, it can take the wind out of your cells - sometimes literally! Let us turn to God once again today and pray for Ashley - she needs us all to remain strong and focused today!

 
At 4:16 PM , Blogger Renee said...

THANK YOU Lord for sparing Ashley again!! Dave, you and Trish were praying JUST FINE!! Please don't stop now. Ya'll are on such a hard road and you need to continue doing what was working for you all! In the Gospel, Jesus says there is only one prayer that we ever need to say and it goes something like this...then he writes the Our Father. I'm not sure of His exact wording or which scripture, but this is the general concept. If you think about it the Our Father covers everything!! There was NOTHING wrong with how you and Trish were praying though. NOTHING at all!! I will continue to pray that Ashley recovers and is allowed to stay with her family here on earth. If this is not God's will then so be it. In any case I will continue to pray that it is His will. We each have our own relationship with God and we are not to judge others for theirs. To me this is probably one of the worst things one could do to another. I'm so sorry that you recieved this horrible comment today! I pray there is never another one like it. I pray that your wounds from the comment are healed quickly. I pray that you both continue as you were and that Ashley improves and can some day go home with her family that loves her dearly.

 
At 4:19 PM , Blogger KT said...

Trish & Dave, don't second guess your prayers. You are human and we have a selfish nature and that's okay. He created us that way. God's will will be done and he will be faithful and just. Praying for sweet Ashley today that she will run out of the hospital one day soon. Praying for your family during this time, what a journey. But no matter the outcome God has shown his presence and your testimony is growing.

 
At 12:30 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dave and Trish, God bless! I don't get to read very often and I hadn't in at least a week, but as Christmas approached you were all on my heart even more. You are living the will of God as we speak for both of your lives as well as Ashely's. As a parent of a child with a disability, I understand your feelings of doubt. People unknowlingly say things that cut you like a knife with good intentions, but like several others have said, they don't walk in your shoes. God made Ashley to his exact prescription. He is molding and shaping her even as we speak, as well as the rest of your family. Rest in the fact and peace that you are doing exactly what God called you to do, love your child with all of your heart. You have the unconditional love that God loved us with. Just as one of your comments stated, "God doesn't put on us what we cannot handle". I believe that with God, there isn't anything we can't handle. He never said it would be easy. We just have to take Him by the hand and go day by day, sometimes minute by minute or even second by second. He knows your heart and He is happy with you. If there is anything wrong with how you are praying, rest assured that He will tell you in such a way that your spirit will receive it.

I can only imagine the trials your family faces each and every day. As humans we grow weak and weary. As our bodies tire, so does our mind and then our hearts. I want to leave you with two scriptures: The first is a commandment 365 times over, our daily commandment. This particular one is found in Joshua 1:9. It says, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouragedk for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

1 Peter 5:10-11 says, "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

 
At 2:19 AM , Anonymous Janiece Baldwin said...

Dave, It is our hearts desire to help you and Trish in any way possible as you travel this unknown path that Ashley's Story takes you on with all the good and bad days. Nothing that you have said or done should be taken out of context. If you will check back on the comments of days before, there would be 2 to 6 but today there have been many more, from 12 to 21. That is because you and Trish have touched so many hearts and we are drawn to this site to check to see how/what we need to pray for because that is the best that we can do for Ashley, Blake, Allie, you and Trish. The comments left today are proof of the lives you have witnessed to through your posts and it brings much glory to our Lord. Do not second guess your witness or your testimony. Do not apologize for who you are in Christ. Do not apologize who you are as a husband or who you are as a father. Christ suffered and was mocked. He did not change His story or His ways. He continued to do His Father's work and did it all according to His will.

We know you love Ashley, Blake and Allie. We know you want to keep Ashley with you. What kind of a parent would you be if you didn't?? We are here for the long haul with you and your family. Stay strong...stay focussed.

 

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