Sacrifice, Love, and Life

As I walked down the hall behind Ashley's crib on our way back from CT my bracelet slipped out from under my sleeve and as I looked down I saw two little charms that remind me of so very much. Sacrifice. Love. Life.

Nothing worth having comes without a price. If you love something or someone you are willing to make sacrifices for them. I feel without a doubt that this is where we are at this place in our lives, and Ashley is so worth it. On several occasions, one of them being today, I have been told that what I am doing is not right. I have been told that I need to be at home with my children. I think what some people may be forgetting when they want to share this advice with me is that David and I have 3 children. God has given us Blake, Allison,and Ashley. I would do anything for any 3 of my children. If Blake were lying in this hospital bed instead of Ashley I would be here with him. If Allison were lying in this hospital bed instead of Ashley I would be here with her. There is no easy way to do this, but we are doing it. We are making the necessary sacrifices for our family. I wish that we did not have to live this part of our lives apart, but I know that through this time of sacrifice that we are all learning what it truly means to love one another. Blake and Allie miss me terribly. They miss Ashley terribly, but they would not want her to be left here alone. Because of the love that they have for their baby sister they are willing to sacrifice so that she might have a chance at life. On more than one occasion my 11 year old son has hugged my neck and whispered to me, "Thank you mom for sacrificing so much for Ashley." Even as a child he realizes that love comes with a price.

I also know in the deepest part of my heart that God has spent years preparing our family for this time that we would be spending apart. Blake and Allison are not perfect children, but they are great kids. I could not be doing what I am for Ashley if God had not created my older 2 children exactly as He did. I could not be prouder of them. They are living through this difficult time in our lives with amazing strength. I have seen them both mature in ways that could have only come through this very experience. Not only are David and I learning lessons through Ashley's story, but Blake and Allie are too. They love her so very much.

When I look at the bracelet around my wrist I see the little angel that is attatched to it. When I see this charm my heart is overwhelmed to think of the sacrifice that was made. A tiny life had to be lost in order to save my sweet Ashley's. Love beyond comprehension had to come to us from complete strangers. Her life is a gift that came through much sacrifice.

When I look at the bracelet around my wrist I see the cross attatched to it. When I see this charm my heart aches to think of the sacrifice that was made for me because He loved me. He loved me so very much He chose to give His own life so that I might have life.

Nothing comes without a price. Ashley's life costs great sacrifice from all who love her. We (Dave, Blake, Allie, and myself) give willingly to this baby girl who was given to us. We do not regret our time spent here nor the sacrifice it requires. We would do it all again and again if it were asked of us. I pray that the next time someone feels the need to give me their opinion on what I am and am not doing right that I will be able to accept it with grace and understanding. I pray that they will take just one moment and try to imagine how very difficult this is for me. God gave me 3 children and I would gladly sacrifice my all to give them life. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for loving me anyway. Thank you for praying for my Ashley, my Allie, and my Blake. God made each one of them to be amazing children and I am honored to be called their mom. Trish