He has a Plan

So I have finally laid my sweet Ashley Kate down in her crib for the FIRST time today(hence I have not had a decent meal or a shower yet), and I have a few moments to share a few of my thoughts. As I was flipping through the pages of a devotional book I landed on this verse and it was just exactly what I had felt led to post about this afternoon. It is this:

" For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future." Jeremiah29:11


I know my postings have not been especially encouraging or uplifting during this period where I have been lacking rest, but I am afraid I may have actually caused some who read my Ashley's story to become discouraged. If this has happened to you then I feel horribly responsible that I have not allowed you to see the Lord working in our hearts and lives even in this tough stretch of days. Please do not be discouraged by us or for us. We are truly blessed each and every day. God has used our Ashley's lives, struggles, and difficulties to do great things in our family. I would not be an honest person if I only shared with you the happy times and the easy days. This journey is hard. It is long. It is proving to be very challenging, but I am convinced now more than ever that He has a plan. I don't know what it is and I don't understand all of it. He doesn't have to show it to me. I just believe in my heart that He is still here with us and He is still working it all out. He has not forsaken us and He promised us that He would not. I trust what He tells me.

Ashley is still beautiful(even while she screams), she is still amazing( even while she screams), she is still worth every step of this journey(even while she screams). I have never, nor do I now doubt that this is all part of His plan. He is busy shaping me into the mommy that she deserves. Trust me, this is not an easy job, but I know it will happen. My Ashley was created to fulfill a part in His plan for this world and she is busy doing her part. I wish her hurts would disappear, and I want more than anything to put this part, this chapter behind us but apparently it isn't time. Again I ask you to not be discouraged by her struggles. My prayer is that you might be encouraged by her will, her strength, her determination to make it back home to her family.


I am going to cut this short for now because she is now awake and screaming again. I more than anyone want this part of the plan to end sooner rather than later, but I continue to talk to Him as I rock her and try to help her through it. Its not an easy stretch we are on, but the important thing is that we are still on the path, following the plan. I know far to many families who would do anything to trade places with us. So please let me encourage you to stay strong in your faith. Allow Ash to help you seek and search Him out to become stronger, and if she is not able to help you with that then I ask that you take a break so that she might not become a stumbling block to you. She loves you all far to much to cause you to become discouraged. To be completely honest with you I am learning that we are just beginning on this road and it is not going to be a short one. Thank you for walking along side of us this far and we would welcome your continued presence if you have it in you. If you don't, please know that you are loved for the time that you did commit to loving our baby and our family. We will never be the same. God Bless. Trish