In the early morning hours...
In the early morning hours I laid in my chair and listened to my precious baby struggle to find sleep. As I sat quietly trying not to move (for fear of waking her up from her dreams) I realized that 5 months ago I had sat in the waiting room trying not move for fear of waking up from this dream. A dream that I had been dreaming for weeks, wondering if she would ever get "the" call. We waited quietly as Blake and Allison slept on the floor. We waited for the nurses to come and get us so that we might see our precious Ashley. She had made it through the transplant and now they were settling her into her room. Once I realized what day it was I was overcome with a spirit of thanksgiving. How humbled I am to know that another mommy thought of my precious baby on the very day that she lost hers. This mommy is never far from my heart. My days get crazy and I may not mention our donor family every day, but they will forever be a part of my Ashley and her story. Without their gift she would not have a story.
Today is day 2 of our 18 week cycle of chemotherapy. Her chemo consists of 3 different drugs and then a group of drugs given to help cope and fight off the side effects of the main ones. On cycles 1 and 2 she is given the most dangerous of the drugs. She receives it on days 1,8,and15. It runs over 6 hours into her little body. It is followed by the actual "chemo" drug that she will receive on day 1 of all 6 cycles. She then receives a very high dose every 12 hours of the steroid Prednisone on days 1,2,3,4,and 5 of each cycle. At the end of the 18 weeks we will re-evaluate the cancer and decide if she will require another round. As I watched the drugs go into her little body I pictured them squishing all of those cancer cells and making them go away for good. This is the goal.
We are on our way to have a CT scan done of her neck, thorax, abdomen, and pelvis. I am not sure what they are looking for. It may just be routine in order to have new films to make comparison to.
As we battle our cancer on this end of the hall, we have precious little friends whom we love who are struggling today. Please pray specifically for our friend Davian. He too is from Texas and he is very, very sick today. He was transplanted the week after Ash and he has been out of the hospital for a couple of months. He was readmitted for a virus and things have gotten crazy from there. His parents could really use some support today. Thank you for your willingness to pray for babies who you have never met. Your hearts are so precious and I appreciate the way you allow Him to use you in our lives and the lives of our friends. May you have a wonderful day and may you feel His presence in your lives. Trish
posted by Ashley @ 9:25 AM
5 Comments:
Praying for you to feel God's presence with you as well. Way to go little one--you made it through the first day. I know you will make it through the rest! Praying for hard for those cancer cells to disappear with the first round of chemo and you will get some rest! You are a wonderful mother and Ashley is so lucky to have you there fighting with her and for her.
Trish, please call me. I am on my way back from california today, leaving Sacramento at 2:55 PST. I talked with a friend from here whose son is in remission. She gave me some supplements (not immune boosters as far as I know-you'll have to research via internet to make sure), that kill cancer cells naturally. I don't know much about them, but I bought some for Kali because her tumor is so aggressive. Anyway, there are ways to administer it in Ashleys situation. If you'd like to talk today or tomorrow (if I'm not on a plane or talking to Dr.'s in Iowa City), call me at 515-729-3326.
Trish, My prayers are for Ashley and that little boy today. and this next hurdle you will clear with ease. God bless you all, Barron and Cindy
Praying for Davian and his family along with prayers for Ash and you and the rest of the kids/families there in the PICU. Lifting you all up to the Father. Love you!
My words are inadequate, so I’ll use His:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness…That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
It is okay to be frustrated, confused, sad, worried…And, like Paul, you are exhibiting Christ’s perfect power in your weakness. When I read your words, I see His face. I appreciate your honesty in your posts. His life is evident in you.
And when there are no words, no songs, nothing else to take away your burden, know that His grace is enough. Praying for you…
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