In our room

Ash and I have just arrived back in our room. The surgery and scope went well. She now has a shiny, new broviac line in the left side of her chest(whats another scar at this point in the game?). She is doing well, a little swollen from all the fluid they ran through her while under the anesthesia, but is looking well overall. She is breathing on her own and was able to go on and off of the ventilator easily. At some point she will require a bubble bath tonight, but for now I am just going to allow her to be dirty. Hopefully the beta dine won't stain her skin if I allow it to sit there for a few more hours.

I have not slept since about 5:00 this morning and my head is aching. I am really looking forward to an evening nap, but first I get to enjoy a home cooked meal prepared by a wonderful lady who is taking such good care of me. Thank you so much Lou Ann. That is just what I needed after such a long day.

The oncologist came by while Ash was in surgery and I was in the waiting room. I did not get to talk to him about the plan for chemo tomorrow or the results of the scan. He left a message stating that he would be by between 9 and 10 tomorrow. I have many, many questions and concerns after reading through the consent forms about the chemo drugs. Maybe I should just sign the consent and try not to worry about it all? I know that it has to be done regardless of my concerns. I just can't believe she has cancer. Of all the things I had considered, I honestly never thought this would happen to her. Only 10-20 percent of the patients develop it. When you think about how small the liver/bowel transplant population actually is it just seems so rare that it could happen to my Ashley. I am trying to learn enough about the cancer and its treatment to at least be knowledgeable enough to follow along through her course. My mind is just so tired and I am having to go over the same things again and again before it makes any sense to me. I pray that I will be able to get a good understanding of the disease and how it is to affect my Ashley so that I may help her fight it by making the best decisions for her. At this time in my life I am all out of strength and what little bit I do have is not of me but it is coming from the Father.

Tonight as you remember to pray for my Ashley would you please include a few others. My Allie is so very sick. She will miss school again tomorrow. It was so hard to leave her last night knowing how ill she is. She is weak and running fever. Her throat is soar and she is so hungry but it hurts too bad to swallow. I would appreciate any prayers you would offer on her behalf. Some of Ashley's transplant friends are very sick and struggling this week also. Davian, Gabe, and Skyler could really use your prayers as well. This is such a hard road and I am reminded daily that it is not mine alone to walk. There are several other families who hurt and struggle for their children as they try to give them a chance to live this life as well. We are a close family in the halls of this PICU and we need to lift each other up in prayer daily. Your faithfulness to pray for our family is making such a difference in our lives. Thank you for caring enough to come again and again. You are all so loved. Trish