Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart

9/23/2007

This smile...

brings us so much joy! Its been one whole week since we have seen it and a world without it just isn't the same. I miss her personality. Dave and I laughed a lot, smiled a lot, and cried a little this afternoon as we looked through her pictures. She is a happy child that fills our home with joy.

Dave has crawled into the crib with her. He just wants to be close and cuddle up with her. We miss holding her. She aches to much to picked up so we are settling for laying our heads next to her on the pillow. I think she looks a little better tonight. Her eyes are open and she is watching Blue. She actually turned her head in response to her nurse tonight and that was the first time she had acted like she was even aware anyone else was here. Her heart rate is down and her respirations are too. She sounds a little coarse and junky in her lungs, but continues to breathe room air. She has no fever at this time and no evidence of her rash showing.

She did receive another blood transfusion this evening and they started a round of steroids to try and settle whatever has made her so sick. We also began giving her anti-rejection meds tonight so this makes us think the team is starting to lean more towards rejection as opposed to something viral. We will hopefully know more in the morning after rounds.

My heart feels more at peace tonight than it did last night. I think the stress and the shock of so much happening to her so quickly was just too much. I am really hoping to wake up and be told that she is fine and we are all clear to leave. That is still my hope. We want Ash back home and living life again. We want to hear her laugh and giggle. We want to see her ornery streak return. We want to look at that twinkle in her eyes. We want life to return to that beautiful state of "normal" that she had achieved. I believe it can. I believe God can do it again in her life.

I did speak with Blake and Allie tonight about not coming home with Ash just yet. I could tell they were disappointed, but they were being so brave. I am so proud of who they are. Their little hearts have held big burdens before and although it breaks mine to know that I trust that they can do it again. I shared with Blake in a little more detail than Al about what we have found out so far. He is older and stronger than Allie and I want him to feel as though we trust him and are not hiding things from him. They are such incredible people and I miss them so very much.

I'm really tired tonight. I tried to rest some this afternoon, but couldn't fall asleep. There are lots of questions running through my mind and turning it off isn't an easy thing to do. I am hoping to sleep tonight. Thank you for praying today and for asking others to pray for her too. I can feel that you are praying and I am so thankful.

23 Comments:

At 10:22 PM , Blogger Haylee Gabrielle said...

She is ADORABLE!! Still praying for Ashely...

 
At 10:29 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

We are praying.....hope all is well or improving. Ash is so beautiful with a precious little spirit. You both are wonderful parents. Regardless of any outcome .....what a glorious blessing the past number of months have been to see her live some sort of normalcly free from much of the medicine & hospitals. That is a miracle.....considering. If GOD allowed that ....think what is to come. That was the unimaginable a year ago. She was in a fragile state....cardiac arrest..... touch & go. .... (to riding an Amtryke)....Praise GOD!! Those who say miracles are non exisitant.....she is a living breathing Proof of a miracle. He isn't done yet. I can't believe that he is.......HE will finish what work he has started for HIS glory. Praying ....

 
At 10:47 PM , Anonymous Nikki said...

I can't thank you all enough for taking the time for updates even in the midst of so much going on and so little sleep. I am so THANKFUL to hear several of the yucky symptoms are decreasing. The kids and I spent a lot of time today praying SPECIFICALLY for Ashley's comfort. That was the main thing we wanted today. And we are praying your list of specifics as well, as are just about all of our friends. Praise God that she is better; not entirely stable - YET - I understand. But better is good. I am heading to bed and will pray that you get good quality sleep to keep you going as well. I'm so glad Ashley wanted to see Blue! I say let her watch it til she's 85 if she wants!

 
At 10:47 PM , Blogger Sun said...

oh she is a doll! SO sweet and SO cuddly with that smile! I love the pictures and am SO glad to read that she is doing a bit better! We will continue to pray - try and get some rest! Sunshine

 
At 10:51 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am going to bed now with Ashley on my mind....Love to see that smile again too! What beautiful pictures of a beautiful girl. Prayers tonight for the evening rest and the day that is ahead for your whole family. God is faithful even in tribulation. We have that hope...What a gift that hope is. Goodnight sweet Ashley may your dreams be happy and peaceful. Hugs, Colleen

 
At 10:53 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

As said before...thanks for the updates...I feel like I am on "pins and needles" waiting to read what is going on. I cannot even begin to imagine your family's emotional roller coaster. I am so glad that Ashley is doing a little better and know our prayers will not cease! She is a miracle is so lucky to have you all as parents!

Praying from Lubbock, Texas.

 
At 10:57 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

She is so beautiful! I just love your baby! You are so wonderful and I admire how you parent your kids. The Lord shines in your life! I am still praying! My five year old tonight said, "Mommy, don't forget Ash-wee," during our prayer time! It was adorable! Thank you for updating. It means so much!
Lovingly and prayerfully,
Shari

 
At 11:14 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good grief. Can a child be any cuter than she is? Seriously - I just don't think it's possible at all. When you put up those slide shows, it's very hard to break away and read the post because... she is just that cute! :-) Her expressions are priceless.

It's very exciting to hear of the progress she seems to be making. She is a very, very prayed-for child, and will continue to be for a very long time. Hopefully, even if Dave has to go back home, he can do so with relative peace that things are headed in the right direction.

Please do keep updating. Wireless hospitals are such a huge blessing, huh? :)

Brenda in N E

 
At 11:33 PM , Anonymous Janiece Baldwin said...

Continually taking this journey along side of you~~continually praying~~for God's divine healing~~as in our lesson today in Matthew 8 -
"As the leper approached Jesus he knelt before Him and said to Him, "if You are willing, You can make me clean." Jesus' reply was "I am willing" and touched the leper and he was healed because He "was willing" and because of the leper's faith.

Jesus, I stand in the gap, in prayer, and say to You, "if You are willing", please touch little Ashley and heal her bowel and stop any rejection from taking place. All things are possible with You and in You, Lord. You are our Shield, our Comforter and our strength and we desire Your grace and mercy in all areas of Ashley's life. Our trust and faith is in You and we give You all the honor and praise that You will be glorified. In all of these things I pray in Your Precious Name, Name above All Names, Amen.
Love to you~~~Janiece

 
At 11:38 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Trish - I know you indirectly through Suzanne Sanders. I have kept up with your story and Ashley's status. I have been faithful in reading your post. I am a single mom to a little 5 year-old boy and taking 18 hours at LeTourneau working towards my Masters for counselling children and it has been crazy busy. The last I checked in, Ashley was doing wonderful and I watched the video of her on her little tryke and you talking to her. Today, I get an e-mail from Suzanne. I was stunned! I read back over the week and, while I have been touched from many of your postings, this past week's posting had me literally break down into tears. When you said under your title "Broken Again," 'If it is for HIS honor then let it be." I just broke down and wept, truly wept.

I shared it with my mother and she too cried. Your faith is ASTOUNDING. If only I could have your unwavering faith. It is humbling to read your blog, asking for us to forgive YOU for venting. It amazes me that in the midst of your angel being in such agony and your heart broken to pieces, that you still put your witnessing first as to not damage your testimony. Sweetheart, Child of God, your words and actions are nothing BUT a testimony!

My life is changed because of YOUR willingness to share ALL of your feelings and thoughts with anyone and everyone. God has used you as a tool in MY life...you make me want to be a better mother to my son. You make me want a better relationship with my Father; my Savior. Ashley's struggles and your struggles have not been in vain; they have changed at least one life...mine and my son. I am humbled by your character, I am humbled by your Faith, I am humbled that even in the midst of every emotion a mother could possibly feel you still praise God and acknowledge His hand in your life and your sweet baby's life. I truly don't know and seriously doubt that I could do that...ahhh, I am just HUMBLED!

I have cried so much today just thinking of you. I prayed for you, your family, precious Ashley. I prayed for the doctors to have the wisdom to know how to treat your angel. I also prayed that God would lead me to have the kind of faith you do. Ashley IS being used in so very many ways; YOU are being used in so very many ways. I truly believe God is using you, Trish, to lead others to Christ and urge others to nurture their relationships with Christ.

I do not mean to ramble. If only you could see inside my heart and the admiration I have for you....it would bring a smile to your face if only for a fleeting moment.

You vent, cry, yell, weep, laugh - let out whatever emotion you feel. God already knows what you are thinking and feeling. Ben Young (Ed Young's son) once said "you carry your rocks and let your friends carry your boulders." We are friends in Christ - allow us to carry this boulder for you.

If you ever need a little lifting up; pep talk, anything my e-mail is amybateman@letu.edu. God will continue to bless you and your family. You are faithful servants - He will ALWAYS be with you. There is a song by Mercy Me that says "can I climb up in Your lap, I don't want to leave...Jesus sing over me. I've gotta keep singing, I've gotta keep praising Your name, that's the only way that I'll find healing. Now can I climb up in your lap I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE- Jesus sing over me." Trish, climb up in His lap. Let Him sing over you. Remember, He is YOUR Adonai...YOUR Father God - think about how much you love your precious, beautiful daugther - He loves her even more! Isn't that just awesome? He WILL continue to hold her in the palm of His hand.

I am praying! Continue on - you ARE touching lives!

With lots of love,
In Christ....

 
At 11:48 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

One last thing - I apologize for my post being so long. I wanted you to know that in each of my classes at LeTourneau, we have a devotion and prayer. Especially in the Education Department, I have and others have Ashley, you and your family on our prayer list. Tomorrow - we will pray for your new requests and lift you guys up. We know that when two or more are gathered in His name, He is in the midst? Well, there are MANY students ALL praying at once for you guys...

Remember too, our Father weeps with you. You are SO NOT ALONE!!

Hope you are resting well....blow your sweet Ashley Kate a gentle kiss from all of us at LeTourneau...

 
At 12:30 AM , Anonymous Dee Dee in NC said...

Praying. So thankful for some indications of improvement. I hope and pray that those continue, with many more good signs and the return of those room-brightening smiles. YES, you're right, our Lord can restore her, and that is my prayer. Hope tonight is restful for all of you and that morning brings much relief and good news.

 
At 2:30 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks again for continuing with regular updates. Our S.S. class prayed especially for Ashley this morning, and she remains on our Wednesday night prayer list.

The photo slide show that you posted today was a perfectly timed reminder of God's grace in Ashley's life so far. I hope you are able to have the medical team there view it, if they haven't already done so.

I pray that you all will get some peace, rest, and sleep tonight--that seems to do as much good physically as anything else.

Trusting the Father with you!

 
At 3:40 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

still praying

 
At 6:19 AM , Anonymous Heidi said...

Prayers for Ashley and your family.

 
At 6:34 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trish,

I love Ashley Kate so much. My heart aches for Ash, you, Dave, Blake and Al. Please know I am updated on every thing going on. Kathy has been doing a great job of keeping us all informed (so has Ash's story).

I know you understand the most important thing I can do from home is pray for Ash and the rest of you. I have you all on the prayer list and the teens in my SS class are praying for Ash's healing, peace, and God's will for her little broken body.

I love you all so much. I pray God will let you feel His presence today and throughout this crazy time. I'll call you later today.

Toni

 
At 6:56 AM , Blogger KimberlyDi said...

I don't have internet connection at home and I worried about her all weekend. My heart is heavy after reading about all you have endured during the past 2 days. I pray she is over the worst.

God blessed her for giving you 2 as her parents.

 
At 7:01 AM , Blogger Amy T said...

So glad there's been some improvement. We'll keep praying.. I know it was hard telling Blake and Allison you had to stay longer, but as you kow, you are raising some strong, brave, faithful kids. And they know you are doing what needs to be done. Praying for you all during this time. Hope you got some rest last night and as I type this, that even more improvements have happened. God bless you Trish & Dave!

 
At 7:50 AM , Blogger oh amanda said...

Still praying!

 
At 8:35 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your post sounds as though maybe you have some peace in the midst of turmoil. Still praying for Ashley's recovery. God bless

Allison NC

 
At 8:55 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

What great pic's of this precious little one God has blessed this world with. I am glad to hear that she is more comfortable and watching blue tonight that is so encouraging. I will continue to be one of your family's prayer warriors! Much love! ~Chan~

 
At 10:23 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying for Ashley!

Michelle from Iowa

 
At 12:18 PM , Blogger jtcosby said...

She is so stinkin cute! I am praying!!!

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home