Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart

11/28/2007

Silent Nights




Here we are, Ash and I spending another silent night in Omaha, Nebraska. It's hard to believe we have another holiday season approaching and the two of us are away from home again. At least we have her tree here with us. It's more than Blake and Al have at home. The house sits empty of any signs of the season. This makes my heart so, so sad. If only I could have a day or two at home. Just long enough to make some magic happen for them then my heart would feel better. I know its not near as important to Dave or Blake or Al, but its important to me because its just something I have always done for them. Its just not the same without having that opportunity. Blake and Allie and I have such fun going through the decorations together. I love listening to Blake and Allie remembering each and every story that goes along with each and every ornament they hang on their trees. I love watching the excitement in their eyes as they re-discover those sentimental treasures that only make an appearance once a year. I love the smell of Yankee Candles burning on the mantel and the sound of Christmas carols playing throughout the house. I love sitting across from the tree late in the evening when all of the lights have been turned down and just enjoying the peaceful feeling the glow of the tree gives to my heart.

Ashley and I sit and rock across from her tree here in our hotel room. Everything on her tree is beautiful. It is all silver,white, and pink(except for our pickle ornaments that hang on the branches reminding us of people all across the country who have prayed for our baby gherkin. They do hang from pink ribbons.) Each ornament on her tree represents a day, an event, a person, or a memory from her life. The first ornament Dave and I bought for her hangs on the tree. There are ornaments that were chosen for her by her grandmothers. There are ornaments that remind us of our tiny friends who have gone on to Heaven. There are ornaments that hold photographs of Blake, Allie, and Ashley. There is a silver angel ornament created by James Avery(my favorite jeweler) that reminds us of the life of her organ donor. There is a beautiful church ornament that represents our faith. There is a princess carriage ornament that holds a photograph of our tiny princess. There is the sweetest gingerbread house that makes me smile each time I see it because my Ashley Kate is just as sweet. We have an angel ornament given to Ash by her sweet friend Caroline that hangs on her tree. There are the tiniest pink and purple candy canes hanging from the branches. Glittery snowflakes that sparkle when the lights twinkle. Pink gauzy ribbons attached to the branches that have no ornaments hanging from them.


When I look at the tree I remember her first Christmas and the events that surrounded the day while she was in the NICU in Dallas. When I look at the tree I remember her second Christmas that was spent in the PICU here in Omaha and the difficult day that immediately followed. When I look at the tree as we approach her third Christmas I wonder where we will spend it. I wonder if God will grant another miracle and take us home for Christmas. When I look at the tree I remember the many miracles that God has already performed in Ashely Kate's life and I humbly pray for another.


I'm nervous about tomorrow. I desperately wish for Ash to be allowed to go home. I so badly want to here them say she is in an ok place and safe enough to return to our home. I am afraid if they don't then I won't be able to hold back the tears. No matter what happens I know that it will eventually be alright. Even if I am disappointed I know that God will have something special in mind for our family.

21 Comments:

At 11:56 PM , Blogger Candy said...

Praying for a miracle, praying for you and Ash to go home for Christmas. Lord, please bless this child and make her well. Praying for you to go home. God bless.

 
At 11:59 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying that you sleep well, hoping tomorrow it will be in your own bed. I'm not sure how they could say no to a girl with pink cupcake shoes, but I'll be praying "extra hard" you get what you need. Good night.
Amanda

 
At 12:47 AM , Anonymous Janiece Baldwin said...

Lord, You know Trish's heart. You know how she longs so to go home, even if for just a few days for now. Her mothers heart yearns to turn her family's home into the Christmas spirit. The spirit of celebration of Jesus' birth. The spirit of giving, of love, of blessings and thankfulness for the miracle of little Ashley. I pray for a good report tomorrow from the doctors and I pray that Ashley's condition will be so that they will say to Trish, " It will be O.K. for the two of you to return home for ? of days", then, if they deem necessary, return to Omaha to be checked again.
But most of all, Dear Lord, I pray that all the Adams family will celebrate Christmas in their own home here in Longview. What a huge blessing that would be for the 5 of them. I pray, Father, this would be Your will.
We look to You with anticipation.
May You be glorified, Father as we give You praise~~~~In the name of Your Precious Son, Jesus, I pray~~~Amen.

Love to prayers~~~Janiece

 
At 3:28 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying that you and Ashley may go home for Christmas!!! That is the sweetest tree!

May God Bless you and provide you with a miracle to go home for Christmas!

~Okla

 
At 4:55 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

still praying in central IL...and so wishing there was something I can do...

 
At 5:05 AM , Anonymous Courtney said...

What a beautiful tree filled with such precious memories! I'm praying for a great meetin gtomorrow! I hope that God grants your heart's desire and that the doctor's give an OK for a pass.

 
At 6:48 AM , Blogger ManyBlessings said...

Praying for peace, no matter the outcome tomorrow.
d

 
At 8:39 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

My prayers have not stopped for a single day for your family. I pray specifically for her stool ouput to decrease and for you to be granted this wish of having a pass home at least for a weekend, and to bring this tiny miracle home for Christmas. Keep up the excellent work.....Corey, in Missouri

 
At 8:53 AM , Anonymous Grandma said...

I'm still praying you back home and have lots of hugs and kisses and squeezes waiting when you get here! Maybe even a Christmas surprise or two??? Oh how I pray it will happen for you two - we miss you more than you can know! Praying for good news at today's meeting and specifically for Ash to feel great and let them see how good she's doing. Love and Hugs, Grandma

 
At 9:28 AM , Blogger Laurie said...

Big Hugs to you from me today as you patiently wait for the news of a home pass. Praying with all of my heart that God performs miracles for you. Her tree is so full of memories for such a short sweet life, but I believe with all my heart that this season will be one full of sweet miracles of love for all of you. I will continue praying for your heart's desire to be granted and for Ashley to continue healing completely. I love your HOPE Trish, it will get you through.

Love, Laurie in Ca.

 
At 9:35 AM , Anonymous Jule White said...

Praying this morning for your meeting today. Praying for a good report and for that pass home to Longview.

Ashley's tree is precious! I know she must just love it! Continuing to hold you and the entire family close to my heart.

Love, Jule White

 
At 10:21 AM , Blogger Elizabeth said...

Trish,
I have been praying non-stop for this to happen...the miracle worker is hard at work...it WILL happen! Keep your head up dear! May God bless!

love in Christ
Elizabeth

 
At 10:50 AM , Blogger BendingPeak said...

Thinking of you and hoping that todays appointment goes well.

 
At 11:02 AM , Blogger Gretchen said...

Praying that you get your pass and a Christmas homecoming miracle. Praying for Ashley's total healing, and your strength and peace. xxxooogretchen

 
At 1:16 PM , Anonymous April said...

I can certainly relate to your struggle with changes, especially around the holidays. Our home tree is about the size of your hospital tree, for various reasons, and I was tempted not to put it up at all.

But God spoke to me and reminded me that Christmas is not about tradition, gifts, trees, songs, or even the gathering of family and friends! It is about Christ and all the gifts that He has given us and will never take back. It is about Christ and all that He wants to be in our lives - above ALL else. Even gingerbread men.

Trish, may you feel the peace and love of Christ each day. And especially this Christmas, think of the wise men who traversed far, away from their families, to witness the miracle of Christ. I pray that you and I, and others who are struggling this holiday, can experience that miracle.

Hugs and prayers...

 
At 1:20 PM , Anonymous heidi said...

Wishing you holiday blessings!
Still praying,
Heidi in CT

 
At 3:33 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel so, so sorry for your children at home in Longview. They have had to give up so much. May God comfort them. It's hard to imagine what they're going through. There's no way to describe what they are feeling as their lives have totally changed. God bless them as their world has been turned upside down these past few years. I can't imagine their feelings right now.

 
At 4:05 PM , Blogger Vietnam Baby Girl Smith said...

Praying for good things to come tomorrow. Praying for some Christmas cheer for your family! Praying for Ashley!

 
At 4:38 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Praying that "no news" posted here yet means you are packing up your car to head home...let me know if you need any help with that! Thinking about you and praying.
Amanda

 
At 5:15 PM , Blogger Elizabeth S said...

I am praying that God sends you home tomorrow. But if He chooses not to, I am praying for peace and an understanding that only He can give.

 
At 5:26 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that Blake and Allie have done a remarkable job in handling this situation. I do not know of any of children their age who could handle their mommy having to be away with the sick baby sister any better than these 2 children. I think that you, Trish and Dave, do a MARVELOUS job in allowing your children to tell you exactly how they feel and they do not come across as children who hold things back. I think because of the environment and the relationship you and Dave have created with them, they have no fear of telling you how they feel. Furthermore, I also think that they genuinely feel the way they describe and want only what is best for their precious sister. That is just another testament of God's miraculous power!!

I have been praying today that the meeting went well and you are getting a pass to go home!!

 

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