Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart


Things I've learned about myself

I can function for several days in a row on less than 2 hours of sleep(and quite well I might add).

I can only listen to the annoying sounds of "Steve and Joe's" voices for 4 hours in the middle of the night until I have finally had enough.

I can only listen to the heartbreaking cry of my sweet Ashley Kate for 2 hours in the middle of the night before I become weak and turn that silly movie back on.

I can find joy in the smallest of things in this world like 2 lb 12 oz baby girls, butterflies, fresh air, lazy evenings on the couch, diet cokes and "uneventful days".

I can appreciate the kindness of others and return it now that I know how very far a little of it can go.

I can smile. Even on those days when joy is hard to find because my circumstances are overwhelming.

I can assure you that a "personal touch" in a doctors office, hospital, or even over the phone with their staff can make or break a tense situation.

I can promise you that a friend who knows exactly what your going through because they themselves have been there is PRICELESS.

I can now "go with the flow" because very few of my days actually turn out like I thought they would.

I can deal with those extra pounds that have piled on over the past two years, because honestly there are more important things going on than worrying about how chubby I am.

I can appreciate a good nap.

I can pack all the necessary things to take care of Ashley Kate in a matter of minutes, without missing a beat, but when it comes to remembering the charger to my cell phone you can forget it. (By the way, if you have tried to call me since Sunday you might as well stop because I have once again forgotten my charger in a hospital room and my phone is dead. )

We watched Blue from 10pm until 3am. Turned it off. Listened to Ashley cry for the next 2hours. Changed her ostomy appliance. Changed her central line dressing. Carried an exhausted baby to the car so we could take the kids to school. Found out that something is wrong with her new central line. Called her surgeons office in Shreveport. Made an appointment for 1:30 today. Took a shower. Stared at my sweet baby as she now SNORES and thought how much I would like to be doing the same. Am dreading the moment that I have to wake her up in order to dress her for our drive over to Shreveport. Know that the visit isn't going to be one of her favorites. Have realized that the sight of blood or the lack of the sight of blood can throw me into the very same panic.

Well its time to wake sleeping beauty and deal with the wrath of my decision to NOT give in and turn on that dog's show even one time today. Please pray for me. I have a feeling its not going to be pretty! Hope you have a great day. Trish


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