Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart


Still the Baby?

Well, I'm not really sure. Last night I asked Blake to check on the baby for me and Dave said, "At what point does she stop being the baby?"

I giggled to myself and thought "well...never". I mean, I know she's almost three, but Ash is the baby gherkin and I just don't think you can grow out of name like that. Ash is still the baby around this house. Its hard to think of her as anything else. She still acts like our baby. She still has to be carried around like our baby. She only eats baby food and the occasional cheez it. She still plays with all of her baby toys. The only thing that doesn't quite fit the definition of "baby" is her age. I mean, I guess if we get technical about things she qualifies as a toddler. Except that she doesn't toddle.

We've kind of been blessed. I think anyway. Most babies grow up quickly. Too quickly for my taste. Before you know it they are squirming out of your arms in an effort to get up and go. Our Ashley Kate has been little forever. She doesn't try to get away from us. She still fits on my hip and on her daddy's chest. Her favorite place to be is cuddled up next to one of us. Growing up too fast? not in her case. She's still a baby in so many ways. Of course I would love to have her toddling and talking. Getting into Blake and Allie's things. Eating french fries and tasting everything on my plate. Sticky fingers to clean off the walls and things to fish out of the toilet, but I'm enjoying each day of her "babyhood" knowing that Blake and Allison's disappeared all to fast.

Last night I held her tight and breathed in the baby shampoo smell in her hair. The skin on her hands was so baby soft and still smelled of lotion from her bath. She patted me on my shoulder and squeezed me tight as I placed a thousand tiny kisses on her cheeks. She grinned and showed me that row of teeth and scrunched up her tiny nose. She is so, so happy. I love that she knows happiness. I love that she feels loved. I love that she knows she is safe and that she is finally home. I love having this baby in my arms, in my home and in my heart.

Still the baby? Forever I suppose and as far as this mommy's heart is concerned its ok with me for now.


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