Big, as BIG as you possibly can
I've had a full circle moment this weekend. A realization of a dream come true. A dream so big I was almost afraid to dream because of not knowing if it were ever possible for it to come true. Tonight as she sleeps in her crib I am reminded why it is that I encourage our children to dream as big as they possibly can. It can happen. He is listening to those dreams. He cares. Enough to allow some of the biggest of them to come true.
Ashley Kate lay sleeping in that "closet" that I just felt would one day become a "nursery". She lay sleeping underneath the very item that brought my full circle moment to mind. As I folded and organized her blankets I ran across it. Its a quilt. A quilt that was purchased years before I knew of her. She was only a dream the day I bought it. My Allie was toddling around my legs as I chose it. Much to big to be cuddle underneath it. "A iiiicream" she said as she pointed. "My baby" she said as she touched the quilted face of the baby doll. "The raining" she called the rainbow, and on and on she chatted about the images on the quilt we were purchasing. For years that quilt lay folded in her drawers. Every once in a while I would help her wrap her babies up in it and I would smile at the sight of it.
"Why did you buy that?" Dave wondered. "Just because" I answered, never telling him it is was a piece of the dream we had been dreaming. I knew he was confused, but it was tangible. Something I could touch. Something I could feel. Something I could invision her sleeping under. I don't know if it makes any sense to you. It sure didn't make sense to him. At the time I'm not sure it really made sense to me, but it brought me comfort and hope. On the days when I thought the dream would never become a reality. In the moments I wondered if He even knew my hearts desire. The nights I would wake in a panic as I dreamed of rocking and holding our baby, but yet her face I could never see.
Tonight my heart is blessed as I am reminded of His love for me and how much He must care about the desires of my heart.
My dream lay sleeping underneath that quilt at this very moment. She is real. Tangible. Tiny and soft. Sweet. Beautiful. Amazing. Proof that dreams, the biggest you can possibly dream, do come true.