We've read it all. Heard all of the bad. Listened to the warnings. Now we're ready.
Let's treat it, not allow it disseminate through her bowel into the rest of her body and get rid of it. That's our approach this morning. We are desperately praying for some relief for Ashley with this treatment. In 3 or 4 days we will be able to tell something by her symptoms. Hopefully her cramping will lessen and her stool will start to decrease. She is "up for multiple scopes over the next month". The scopes will show us on the cellular level if she is getting better.
Its the exact same "tightrope"(our surgeon's word this morning) that we always walk. Trying to walk between rejection and infection. How do we protect her organs while treating CMV? We really don't. Low levels of prograf, but that's all we can allow while treating CMV. There are so many bad directions this thing could take, but after a day of educating ourselves, a night of pleading with the Father, and a morning of wrestling with it all I have decided she can do this. She really can. Some transplant patients get through it with no other complications. Some it gets very, very bad for. We want to be the one without complication and our surgeon agrees. Let's be that patient. He told me he is going to be positive and not expect her to get any sicker with this thing. That's all I needed to hear. I'm going to join him.
Could she reject again while treating this virus? Yes. She can. I'm praying she doesn't.
We are almost positive that Thanksgiving will be spent here in this room. That doesn't mean I'm not leaving room for God to pull a fast one on everybody and get us home. It just means that it is a real possibility. It will make our 4th in a row in the hospital. But Christmas? I'm not willing to accept that just yet. I will hang on to that hope until the flights leave without us on them.
I have a lot going through my mind. Lots to share, but honestly don't have what it takes to do it at this moment. Its proving to be a really uncomfortable, painful day for Ash. She can't get out of bed. Her tummy hurts way too much. She hasn't peed for 2 days now. We're working on that.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers and encouragement. You continue to carry us when we can't quite take ourselves where we need to be. Thank you so very much for loving our sweet Ashley.