Praying for Ashley
She had a normal day full of laughter. No real indication of not being well. We played ball before bedtime. She came out of the playroom on her own and sat on her "perch". She was funny and animated.
I woke to the sounds of her cries. She is crying out. Screaming. Trembling.
There is no fever. Just discomfort. She won't allow us to touch her and so I'm lying on the floor next to her bed praying for her. I knew I should have written a little today so people might understand what is probably happening inside of her but it is just too hard. I say probably because no one really knows. They can say what is likely going to take place but our girl sat right in front of them 3days ago and smiled and laughed and played all the while they made predictions. All I could do was ask " would you do anything more than what I am now?" Would your decisions be different?" Can you look at that little face and make decisions differently than this?" She is just SO happy! Most days.
But tonight... She's uncomfortable... Sickly... Hurting... And...I begin to doubt this path we are on. I begin to panic and second guess because I know that one day the smiles are going to cease and its going to be different. I know that and it's killing me.
So... Will you pray? Again? For my sweet Ashley Kate.