Good Morning from Ashley

We have made it through the night and Ashley is glad to begin another day. Today we pray for no surprises and just a lazy day of rest in her room. She is in a lot of discomfort from this last surgery and it hurts my heart to listen to her tiny cry. They are being very generous with pain meds but she still hurts. Rigth now they are doing a chest x-ray to check on her lungs. Her heart rate has come down some over night and I am so thankful for that.

As a parent one of the hardest things for me is to think that one of my children may be hungry or thirsty. Ashely is so very thirsty and she is attacking the tiny sponge that I use to wet her lips with. It breaks my heart to know how badly she needs a drink of water, but I can not give her one because it may make her very sick right now.

Ashley has lost huge clumps of hair and it makes me so sad. They tell me it is because of the anti-rejection drug they are giving to her. The dose is incredibly high and this scares me. She also has a burn on her chin this morning from the anesthesia last night in surgery. Other people look at my baby and see her faults, but when I look at Ashley I only see beauty. I never look at the cuts, the bruising, the tubes coming out of her, the many incisions, the yellow that was in her eyes, the skin color, and now the loss of her hairs. I am her mom and I can look past the "boo-boos" she has acquired. She is amazing and she is beautiful and she was handcrafted by the Master. If you were to see me right now you would find a lot faults as well. I am tired and run down, my hair needs to be cut and my roots need to be done, my nails need a fill, and I seem to live in my flip-flops while I am here. None of this matters to me though because if you could see my heart and see me and Ash the way the Father sees us people would not look at us as anything other than beautiful. One thing I have learned from Ashley's life is to look on others with great compassion and understanding. If we could only see others from His perspective I believe we would all be a little kinder to one another. These halls are filled with hurting people who need to know the One who created them, and I believe Ashley and I are not here in this place by accident.

I keep thinking of the verse that talks about how as a parent you want to give good things to your children and how much more the Father wants to give to us. I believe He has given Ash a second chance to live and she is working hard to make that gift last. Thank you for your prayers today. Please remember our tiny donors family in your prayers. Everytime I hold my babies hand I am holding on to theirs too. My heart is more than grateful. Love you all. Trish