Goodnight from the NICU

Tonight is a very sad night for the NICU. Dave and I just returned from an evening out and have found out that baby Jeremiah has just left us. He is now resting in the arms of Jesus. Although this is comforting I know his mommy and daddy's arms are empty. My heart is broken for them and I wish they could be spared the pain they are now going through. Tonight I will ask you to pray for a precious family who has lost in the worst way. They have had to give up their fight and let him go. How do you do this? I have no answers for them or for myself. I will just continue to trust that He is doing what is best for us all. I will take comfort in knowing that he will no longer suffer from any surgery, or tests, or labs, or sticks or any other discomfort.

Tonight as I we drove back to the hospital I was thinking about all the things that took place in my life today that brought a smile to my face and a joy to my heart. I will share a few of them with you. I smiled when I felt Dave's hand grab a hold of mine during the movie and give me a little squeeze just like he did when we were kids. I smiled when I spoke to my Blake on the phone and heard the excitement in his voice about the big tournament tomorrow, and I smiled even bigger when I realized he is to grown up to tell me in front of his friends that he loves me "more than chocolate chip cookies". I smiled when I woke up this morning with my arms wrapped around the most beautiful girl in the world and smelled her sweet hair and watched her sleeping even though the sun was awake. I smiled when I heard the laughter come from my sweet girls as they played in the hall together. Something I have missed so desperately over the last month. I smiled as I placed Ashley's big, purple bow on her head to get her ready to go out in the halls for the first time since transplant. I smiled when I realized that God had given her this second chance at life, and that she was now living it. I smiled when I heard my sister and my sister in law(that God hand picked) laugh and laugh on the phone together like they were old friends. I smiled when I stopped to realize that He loves me so much that He gave me all of this to smile about and more. How amazing is He?

Tonight I realize once again how precious people are. We all come from different places on this floor, and our children all have different struggles they are facing. We all look different and have very different backgrounds, but one thing we have in common is that we are all parents. Parents to some of the most amazing children God has ever created. We are all parents fighting for just one more day, and praying for just one more miracle. We are all parents who were chosen by God to love these precious babies regardless of their disabilities. We are all parents who share a common bond. I no longer look at anyone else and try to judge. I have no idea what their story may be. I only know that they were created by the same God who made me, and I know that He loves them just as much as He loves me.

If Ashley can teach any of us anything through her story I pray that it will teach us to take time to enjoy the everyday moments, with the everyday people that He has placed in our lives. I pray that we will all realize we are here on this earth not to struggle through on our own, but that He has made a way. We love you all so very much, and thank you for loving our Ashley and for loving baby Jeremiah enough to pray for his amazing family. Goodnight.