Ashley's Antics...

How wonderful it is to be the mommy to Ashley. I love this little girl with all of my heart. She may not be feeling well today, but she is full of spunk. Everyday she is coming back around to the little girl she was before her transplant. She is funny, and awnry, and silly, and sweet. We have enjoyed alot of smiles and laughs in her "nursery" today. Ashley knows what she wants and she will not accept anything else. She and her Aunt Toni have developed a secret code of head shakes, grunts, and waves of the hand. It has been such a joy to watch them play together today. Ashley refuses to say "Mama" in front of me, but as soon as I am out of the room she loves to announce "My mama" again and again for her Aunt Toad. She is so very awnry! Ashley blesses my heart every minute of every day. I am still in awe of this little one that He gave to me.

I miss my Blake and Allison with every part of me. I have missed out on so many things this past month. Allie had her first field trip ever and it was a very important day to her. I listened to all of the details by phone, but I could hear the longing in her voice wishing that I had been there to be a part of it. They try so hard to be strong, but they are still children without their mom at home. My heart hurts for them. Blake is so torn about things he has planned at home with his friends, his class, his team, and traveling here to Omaha to visit with me and Ash. He really misses us, but at the same time he is only eleven and things like a day of relays and races with neighboring schools is so very important. We are putting absolutely no pressure on the children and are allowing them to decide when a good time to visit is. Still I can hear that they are torn because they are afraid they are letting us down if they choose to stay at home to pursue their activities. This is a very hard time for them. I wish I could ease the burdens on their young hearts. Blake and Allison have grown up their entire lives praying for God to allow us to adopt a baby, and they couldn't be happier about their baby sister. Even still this has been a hard time for them to adjust too. They have learned some very valuable life lessons through Ashley's life and I thank God for working in their hearts during this time. Please pray for our children as they struggle with Ashley's recovery and the split in our family. It is so very difficult for them right now.

We love and appreciate every one who has come to care for our sweet Ashley so much. You will never know the depth of our gratitude. Our family is so very blessed to be traveling this path not alone but with each one of you who has chosen to come along. You are a blessing. Thank you for choosing to love us and for praying us through another day. God Bless.