Good Morning...

Good Morning from our new room here at the Nebraska Medical Center. I am so happy to be back! Oh, how I have missed you guys. Your messages, your support, your kind words, and of course your prayers are so valuable to me and I have been lost without them.

I have been allowed so much time to enjoy the peace and quiet of our new surroundings. This environment has given me opportunity to just sit and dwell in the presence of the Lord. My prayers seem more like an ongoing conversation at this time in my life. There are no fancy words, just a communication where I am talking to Him like He was actually sitting next to me. I can tell you that if someone had said to me last Friday that we would be out of ICU on Monday I would have told them they were lying. One of the things I love about Him calling the shots is that He is always working in my life even when I can't see it happening. As I think back over the events that took place from last Friday through Monday I couldn't understand why all of these things were happening, but now as I look at them on the other side, I only see His hand at work. He was orchestrating the events to line up so that we would be moved to our new room. The joy and peace that comes to Ash and I as we spend precious moments together rocking and playing in this room is so wonderful. Along with the joy and excitement we are feeling, comes new feelings of fear. I am still a little afraid to smile too big, to unpack our things, to become too comfortable here. Things change so quickly and Ashley's health is so very fragile that sometimes our good days turn bad very quickly. I am confused as to what my reaction should be at this point. I am trying to find a good balance of gratitude and reality at the same time.

When I look at the reality of the situation, Ash is still struggling. The vomiting is getting worse and not better. It is so very frightening that I am afraid to sleep. She is so nauseated that any movement or change in position can bring on a violent episode. My prayers continually ask that this might be His perfect will for us to be up here in this room. How I would hate for it to be anything else. I am praying that I will be able to handle the episodes with wisdom and experience and that I will learn to adjust to what is now becoming the "new normal" in our lives. I hope that He has equipped me to do this the right way. I am nervous for her.

This morning although Ash is feeling a little yucky from all of her meds, she is absolutely beautiful. I have spent an hour or two just watching her sleep in her crib. All of her tiny features that He designed her with make me smile. Her little eyes with their long eyelashes, her puffy, rosy cheeks, her tiny mouth, her little nose, they are all so unique and beautiful. She has a little squeak to her breathing as she sleeps this morning and it sounds like she is trying to tell me what she is dreaming about. Oh, how I love this little person! I have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams and I am more than thankful.

We will be having a set of x-rays this morning to check for placement of her tubes, and to take a look at her lungs just to make sure she has not been aspirating any of the vomit into them. Please join me in prayer about this. I know that God has a plan in mind for Ash, and I am praying this move was a part of it. I would love to continue to progress until we progressed all the way out of this hospital. That would be an answered prayer. I will go for now so I can go pick up the angel and the baby Jesus that Ash has thrown out of her crib. Thanks for loving us and for missing us while we have been gone. We are glad to be back. God Bless you today. Trish