Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart


Morning Messes...

In some ways living in a hospital setting with young children is really not that much different than living at home. Messes still happen! Every morning between 5 and 6 a.m. a nurse arrives in our room to draw Ashley's daily labs from her line. Sometimes Ash sleeps through this process allowing me to continue pretending to be asleep and keeping my eyes closed tight so my body wont actually realize that I am awake. This morning unfortunately that was not the case. Ash became aware of the nurse and all that was happening so after the nurse exited I was forced to get out of bed and start our day. It began with a diaper change, which after the one I changed late last night filled with yucky blood, was pretty uneventful although she was irritated with me. Then it was time to empty her ostomy bag. For any of you moms out there who have had to empty these on one of your precious little ones you know from experience that it is never pleasant. ( I giggle to myself as I am remembering my sisters reactions each time I would vent Ash's bag. They would hide their noses in their shirts or under a blanket!) Anyway, I had it emptied into the little specimen cup and had set it down on the bed (big mistake, I am still learning as we go) to seal and tuck her little bag back into her diaper when all of a sudden Ashley decided to hurry me up a little. She began to kick her legs at me because one lesson she hasn't yet learned is patience and over the cup of yucky, smelly, nasty you know what went. It was every where! All of her nicely washed, soft, yummy smelling blankets I had stacked onto her bed were covered in it. Not to mention her legs and my hands and arms. So much for hoping to jump back in bed after a quick diaper change! I am praying this is not an indication of how our entire day will go. So after changing sheets, jammies, another diaper, and throwing in another load of those blankets, I finally tucked my little one back into bed and began her morning round of meds.

Now I have decided I could look at this "mess" in a couple of ways. I could have allowed it to make me very grumpy because I didn't really want to wake up yet, and I could have become completely frustrated with her impatience over my slow techniques. Instead I decided to laugh at this stubborn little girl. This little girl who I prayed for. This little girl who stole my heart years before she was ever born. This little girl who despite all that she must endure still manages to smile at me while I clean up the "mess" she made this morning. This little girl who amazes me by the strength she shows each day. This little girl who can bring tears to my eyes with just the thought of who she will become someday. This little girl who has managed to steal her Daddy's heart with her smile. This little girl who came into our lives and finally made our Allison a big sister. This little girl who brings tears to the eyes of a big brother who found out she may finally leave this hospital. This little girl who really does leave her fingerprints on the hearts of those who read her story. I could go on and on for a lifetime about this little girl, but I promise I won't. This morning I am just so happy to have this little girl in my life to make "messes". Now that she is asleep, I am going to go take a quick shower to clean the "mess" off of me and try to get out before she is able to make any more "morning messes".

Take care today and enjoy each and every "mess" you have the privelage to clean up today. Love you guys. Trish


At 12:41 PM , Anonymous Amy Borden said...

OH how I remember the days of the Ostomy bag! Messy and stinky... and ALWAYS leaking, in our case :O)!

I left a message a few posts ago about wondering if the vomiting is due to reflux. The blood you described in the diaper is something we also experienced. For Morgan it was a need to change to a hypoallergenic formula... her doctors chose Neocate. We haven't had any trouble with her GI tract becoming irritated since then. It may also be something to ask about.

Hang in there with the vomiting... with time and the doctors trying new things, I believe it will improve.

I am so excited for you to be together in a more private and relaxing setting ~ enjoy the blessings He's piling upon you :O). I used to fear getting too excited about the good days but I learned that those moments of joy helped me thru some of our roughest times. Praying for you and Ash today!

At 5:32 PM , Anonymous Tamatha said...

Hi there!

I've been eavesdropping long enough and thought I'd actually stop for a second and say hello. I check up on your family nearly every day and am offering up prayers for your family. I'm so excited for your new move and these forward steps you've had lately. Thank the Lord!



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