High Risk

So sorry for just now showing up today. Ash and I have not slept and I am having a definite withdraw problem myself. I have given up on diet coke for a short period and my head is definitely taking the brunt of my decision. I never even drank diet coke until Ash was born, but living in the hospital for the first 6 months of her life it flowed "freely"(literally it was free), and before I realized it I was hooked. Now I stumble to the fridge first thing every morining looking for my "fix" of diet coke. I know this must be sinful, and I am trying to clean myself out, so out goes the diet coke and in comes my severe headaches. Dave thinks it should last for about 3 days. I hope he is right because I can't even function at this point. Shame on me! I know that this withdraw from my addiction in no way can compare to what my Ashley must go through on the days when they wean her meds, but it is giving me more compassion and understanding for her each minute as my head continues to pound behind my left eye. I believe a good long nap might help.

I met the pediatric surgeon this morning who would perform the "fundo" on Ash. Basically he told me he" was not going to ride in on a white horse and save the day." He feels that any surgery performed on Ashley at this point would place her in high risk, and he is not willing to jump into this decision quickly. He is going to gather a lot of data from the ph probe, the GI tests that have been performed, the emptying study (being done tomorrow morning), the bronch procedures(she has had 2 of them), and then talk to the pulmunologist who has taken care of Ash, and then talk with the liver transplant team as well. He just shared with me that we need to weigh the high risks invovled to Ashley before making a final decision. So at this point we are still waiting to figure out what is the safest thing for Ashley. Unfortunately every option we are facing involves a lot of risk to our daughter. Please join us in praying for the safest solution to resolve Ash's eating problems.

She is finally sleeping and I am going to go lay my head down and talk to the One who created this beautiful little girl. I know He sees her tomorrows and I am trusting Him with them. It gives me great peace in the midst of all of this chaos to know that He has the ultimate control. He is trustworthy, and He loves Ashley more than I can fathom. I just want to lay back in my "favorite" chair and rest knowing that He has it all under control. Thanks for loving Ash. Thanks for praying for Ash. Thanks for coming back day after day to see how she is feeling. Trish