Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart

2/23/2007

New Look

See my Ashley? See her cry? This is what she looks like while trying to deal with her new diagnosis. I know it is hard on us emotionally, but the way we feel can not compare to the way my precious little one feels. She is the toughest person I know. She continues to inspire me and to teach me how to be strong and how to persevere. I love this sweet baby and I know she is going to do this. I pray for Him to strengthen her every day and to give her an extra measure of His grace as she tackles what we lay before her. When I start to feel sorry for myself all I have to do is look over in her crib, pick her up, snuggle her close to my heart and He provides me with a good dose of perspective. I am merely her mommy. She is the patient. She is the one who lives her story day after day, and she does it beautifully! I am so proud of her!

This is my sweet Ashley's new look. I think she looks beautiful. More than likely if you ever see us around town this is exactly what she will be wearing. I haven't found them in pink yet, but you can rest assured that I am looking. So far I have found them in yellow(definitely not fit for a princess) and Mickey Mouse print. For now we have opted for the Mickey prints. She is actually not putting up too much of a fight once they are on. It may be because she just isn't feeling well, but I hope to be able to convince her that this is fashionable princess attire. All in all I think Ash is doing ok with this first week of chemotherapy. The first 3 days were really unbearable. We didn't sleep, we didn't stop fussing, we didn't stop pacing the floor, but last night she settled down a little and felt like picking up a toy or two. This morning she woke up not screaming and has sat up for a few minutes to dig things out of her "Mary Poppins carpet bag". She is struggling with nausea and has actually begun vomiting this morning. I was hoping to avoid this part, but it looks like it is on its way. She has today and tomorrow left in the first week of cycle one then she will have a break until Tuesday. On Tuesdays she receives what I believe to be the drug with the most dangerous side effects. Her kidneys have done well this first week and that is an answer to prayer.

This morning when we woke I looked up at the monitors and saw that Ash's heart rate was 207. A little frightening! Once I got a close look at her I could see her eyes had begun to sink in and look bruised. These are Ashley's classic signs of showing dehydration. I stepped out to get my nurse's attention and she was already on it( I have one of our favorite nurses today so its going to be a good one:). We are giving her a fluid bolus and working on getting that heart rate back down. Her temp is stable and I don't feel like it is anything more than a fluid issue.

As I type she is actually playing on her own in her crib. I am so thankful she didn't wake screaming and crying this morning. Maybe I will actually get a shower. What a blessing that would be for not only me and Ash but for those who have to come around us.

Thank you all so much for praying for us today. As you pray for my Ashley please, please pray for our friend Davian and his parents. They are walking through some pretty tough days this week as they tackle multiple issues that have invaded his little body. I pray you all have a wonderful day. Take care. Trish


13 Comments:

At 11:15 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a sweet baby! My heart breaks to see her cry and not understand what all is happening to her. Thank God that He made children so resilient and that even if she doesn't understand now He is with her and one day she will praise Him for all He brought her through. I pray you will have a peaceful day. Thanks for sharing your life in the PICU with your journaling and these pictures.
Lou Ann

 
At 11:20 AM , Blogger crygibb said...

Shes precious and beautiful. Thanks for sharing these pictures. I have never seen a mask like that, with mickey mouse...very cute. your family is in my prayers today as well as your friends.

 
At 11:38 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the pictures. And can you believe my 2 year old has those same pajamas!! She calls them her cupcakes! She often walks by as I'm checking your site at home (I always check before bedtime)--and we pray for baby Ashley. She'll love this!

Sweet Heavenly Father~
I pray right now that you comfort Ashley in the midst of this next storm. I pray that germs and infection stop before entrance to her room...and it comes no closer. I pray for a protective covering over all her "new" organs and her kidneys. I pray for strength for her precious Mommy that helps sustain her. Your angel here on Earth to watch over this beloved child.

Amen

Kristi in Texas

 
At 12:10 PM , Blogger Susan said...

Oh, she is just so precious even though I know that she is not feeling well. I love her little pj's and, again, the bunny slippers! So sweet! I pray the bolus of fluids will help her to feel a little more comfortable. Praying for you both. Love and hugs!

 
At 12:48 PM , Anonymous Grandma said...

Pr;aying, praying, praying! Love and Hugs, Grandma

 
At 1:32 PM , Anonymous dava mccasland said...

It is so nice to see pictures of your little Ashley. It's really good to show my kids her picture so they can get a "visual" of your sweet baby and the prayers seem more real since they can "see" her. We don't stop praying, Trish. I know sometimes you feel like - is anybody listening? Trust me, we don't have the understanding (at least I don't) of how you are doing this and continue to do this. You are our hero even though you don't consider yourself one.

 
At 2:15 PM , Anonymous Andrea b. said...

PRAYING FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!! Hang in there!
"Let us not grow weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galations 6:9

 
At 2:20 PM , Blogger Krista said...

i LOVE THE VERSE in the previous post--It says alot! That baby is so precious and you are definitely a wonderful mommy! She is so Blessed to have you as you are to have her! You can do this! PRAYING, PRAYING, PRAYING! Give that pickly lots of kisses!

 
At 2:34 PM , Blogger Krista said...

Ok-so I have already commented--but I just read this in my devotion and had to share:

God can work in spite of sickness, and He can work through sickness. Nothing is impossible for Him.
He still answers prayer and heals people today, and He still does miracles. In sickness and in hardships, He can work in a person's life. Even if a person still has the sickness or problem, God can work in spite of it and give them a special strength. God says He will wipe away all tears from their eyes.

 
At 3:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

and yet, she is so darn cute...

how lucky you are to be a part of her family.

 
At 3:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

and yet, she is so darn cute...

how lucky you are to be a part of her family.

 
At 3:05 PM , Blogger Overwhelmed! said...

Thank you for sharing the pictures of your little angel. She is indeed precious!

I've just offered up more prayers for Ashley and one for Davian and his family as well.

Take care!

 
At 9:11 AM , Anonymous Regina said...

Awwww ... she is so angelic! I know Ashley is such a wonderful blessing and she is so lucky to have such a wonderful family!

Please know that even though I don't post very often, I check on you and pray for you daily.

Love you mucho grande (Amber's words),

Regina

 

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