New Look

See my Ashley? See her cry? This is what she looks like while trying to deal with her new diagnosis. I know it is hard on us emotionally, but the way we feel can not compare to the way my precious little one feels. She is the toughest person I know. She continues to inspire me and to teach me how to be strong and how to persevere. I love this sweet baby and I know she is going to do this. I pray for Him to strengthen her every day and to give her an extra measure of His grace as she tackles what we lay before her. When I start to feel sorry for myself all I have to do is look over in her crib, pick her up, snuggle her close to my heart and He provides me with a good dose of perspective. I am merely her mommy. She is the patient. She is the one who lives her story day after day, and she does it beautifully! I am so proud of her!

This is my sweet Ashley's new look. I think she looks beautiful. More than likely if you ever see us around town this is exactly what she will be wearing. I haven't found them in pink yet, but you can rest assured that I am looking. So far I have found them in yellow(definitely not fit for a princess) and Mickey Mouse print. For now we have opted for the Mickey prints. She is actually not putting up too much of a fight once they are on. It may be because she just isn't feeling well, but I hope to be able to convince her that this is fashionable princess attire. All in all I think Ash is doing ok with this first week of chemotherapy. The first 3 days were really unbearable. We didn't sleep, we didn't stop fussing, we didn't stop pacing the floor, but last night she settled down a little and felt like picking up a toy or two. This morning she woke up not screaming and has sat up for a few minutes to dig things out of her "Mary Poppins carpet bag". She is struggling with nausea and has actually begun vomiting this morning. I was hoping to avoid this part, but it looks like it is on its way. She has today and tomorrow left in the first week of cycle one then she will have a break until Tuesday. On Tuesdays she receives what I believe to be the drug with the most dangerous side effects. Her kidneys have done well this first week and that is an answer to prayer.

This morning when we woke I looked up at the monitors and saw that Ash's heart rate was 207. A little frightening! Once I got a close look at her I could see her eyes had begun to sink in and look bruised. These are Ashley's classic signs of showing dehydration. I stepped out to get my nurse's attention and she was already on it( I have one of our favorite nurses today so its going to be a good one:). We are giving her a fluid bolus and working on getting that heart rate back down. Her temp is stable and I don't feel like it is anything more than a fluid issue.

As I type she is actually playing on her own in her crib. I am so thankful she didn't wake screaming and crying this morning. Maybe I will actually get a shower. What a blessing that would be for not only me and Ash but for those who have to come around us.

Thank you all so much for praying for us today. As you pray for my Ashley please, please pray for our friend Davian and his parents. They are walking through some pretty tough days this week as they tackle multiple issues that have invaded his little body. I pray you all have a wonderful day. Take care. Trish