Ashley's Story

She will leave fingerprints all over your heart

4/18/2007

Contemplating Exile

Tonight I am trying to decide if Ash and I should "exile" ourselves to my mom's RV. Everyone around here is feeling crummy and I am not sure if this is the safest place for her to be tonight. When I say RV, I am definitely not talking about one you might have in mind(you know the big green one in the movie). Its not the kind that has been closed up all winter and is full of dust and spiders. My mom actually lives in her RV and it is beautiful. Very clean and very comfortable. Since her white count is low tonight and she already feels bad I am afraid that hanging out with those who are coughing and complaning of headaches and sore throats is not a good idea. Dave, Blake, Allison, and Grandma are feeling a little under the weather. Ash already has a cold to go along with her weakened immune system so perhaps I should escape into the Rv for the next couple of days.

She perked up a little tonight when her dad came home. I saw her smile for the first time all day when he said,"Hi, little pickle!" It made my heart glad to see that smile come across her face. I missed it so much today. Nobody makes her as happy as he does. I think she has already figured out that he is just another kid. He dances, "sings"(we all know how good he does that), jumps around, acts ridiculous, and anything else he can think of to make her happy. What a lucky girl she is to have this guy for a dad. He sure can make you smile even when you think you don't have anything to smile about.

Even though Ash is looking pretty rough today and feeling pretty rough she has no fever and she has not vomited all day long. I am counting those things as blessings today. She has spent most of the day sleeping and I hope that is a result of just feeling weak because of her low counts. I just imagine her healing inside as she rests. I watch her sleep and count the number of breaths she takes. As I count I find myself praying and thanking God for each and every one that He gives her. It amazes me to look at her. She is so tough but yet so weak. She is little but yet she is now so big. She is still struggling but yet she tries to convince me that its easy. I tell her over and over again how proud I am of who she is. I tell her how much I love her and how much Jesus loves her. Sometimes when I try to pray for her I am speechless. Humbled at His handiwork. Amazed at her design. The words don't come. I am so glad He knows exactly what I would say if there were only words. I am still so humbled to be in this place.

I can hear her fussing in the other room so I guess thats my clue to wrap it up tonight. Let me say thank you for reading her story and for praying for her today. I don't know where we would be if you were not praying. I appreciate it so very much. Good night and God bless. Trish

5 Comments:

At 10:45 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just still cannot believe how long you have been able to be at home with her! I thought you would have to turn around from TX and head back to NE! God is watching over her.

 
At 10:55 PM , Anonymous Suz said...

Thankful that Ash is so full of love & happiness despite the way her body makes her feel at times. Why wouldn't she be with such wonderful family around her. Adding those you mentioned whom are feeling a bit under the weather to the prayer list tonight & Ash has been there for quite sometime....like a part of my family now....I pray for her as I do my own. (= Praying she will feel better....that this cancer will be stomped....& that she will have victory in JESUS...(she has that already...praying for her recovery & continued acceptance of her special gift....the organs GOD gave her through the sacrifice of another....for her life that I thank HIM for). One day I hope to meet this little gift....this miracle....& give you a hug too (mom)...I am here in town...but know you probably have too much on your hands for company. I am here to help in anyway you need...just let me know. (=

 
At 10:00 AM , Blogger Krista said...

I havent posted in a while. I dont always have words for you, but just know that I think about Ash every day and we still continue to lift her up in Prayer all day! My mom said she saw her at Church on Easter Sunday and she said "you would never know that child is sick" She said she is absolutely beautiful! I am here in Longview as well if you need anything at all!

 
At 10:08 AM , Blogger Amy T said...

Another Longview-ite praying for you. I too wanted you to know that if you need anything, let us know. I don't "personally" know you, and know you have a great support group, but know that there are others out there ready to help if needed (and we are of course praying, praying, praying).

 
At 11:00 AM , Blogger Susan said...

So thankful to hear that Ashley is not experiencing nausea. My prayers continue for God to protect her from all the germs that we encounter each day. And that this chemo will be the only chemo she will take for the rest of her life. God bless you all. Hope everyone is feeling better soon. Love and hugs!

 

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