Our Home away from Home?

Can you believe two weeks ago today we got on the med flight and headed back to Omaha? In some ways I am astonished that it has only been two weeks(it seems like we have been here forever) and in other ways I can't believe it has already been two weeks. Two weeks ago last night I left the hospital while Ash sat with Grandma and went to dinner with Dave and the kids. Then I left Dave to stay with Ash so I could go home and tuck Blake and Al to bed. I remember laying next to them on their beds and listening to them talk and talk and talk. I had been at the hospital with Ashley Kate for 3 nights and had been missing our night time routine. Looking back I wish I had known what the next morning had in store for us because I would have done things differently. I might have asked the kids if they wanted to sleep in our room just so I could listen to them breathe all night long. I might gone back into their rooms a few more times before retiring to mine. I might stayed up late on a school night and played a game or watched a movie. I know I would have told them an extra time just how much I loved them. I just miss them so much and I think it is especially hard on all of us because we know how long it was last time. I can't explain this for any other reason except to say that I woke this morning feeling like we could still go home any day. Call me naive, but I just pray we aren't here much longer.

Home away from home? I try my best to make our room feel like home. I sectioned it off in my mind into different areas. I have an office in the corner. It consists of a rolling hospital table that holds my computer, my bible, my books, and phone, and cameras. I have taped all the photos of the kids from my wallet on the wall so I can see their faces as I type or study. The next area is my living/bedroom. It consists of my favorite blue recliner that serves dual purposes. I keep my blanket folded across the back for those times that I feel like resting which in turn makes the area my bedroom. When I'm not reclined for sleeping then I am rocking my Ashley Kate or reading or both. Then it becomes our living room. Ash's crib is right in the center of the room and like always it is made up with her sheets, her blankets and her pillows. I catch a lot of grief about this from some of the doctors, but I think it is important to her healing that she be surrounded by familiar things. Her things make her feel secure in a very scary situation. We do have a bathroom area, but I am not allowed to make use of it. It is only for emptying Ash's output. Our next area is what I call the kitchen. It has a sink, a counter top for holding Ash's supplies, and some cabinets. I don't use any of them for our personal things, but I still refer to it as the kitchen area mainly because of the sink. I keep the room as tidy as possible while living in such a small place. I always have an air freshener plugged in so it smells delicious(Thanks Heather for remembering) and I keep soft music playing under Ashley's crib just like we do in her nursery. All of this may sound very silly to some, but I am making the best out of a tough situation the only way I know how. Dave tried to throw a kink in my system by taking the computer out of the office and into the living/bedroom area. When I explained my "home away from home" concept to him he just rolled his eyes, went back to the office with the computer and smiled. I think he understood or at least he tried to. I'm so glad He loves me enough to look past all my silly ways.

Ash had 20 minutes of sleep last night. Thats it. That also means that Dave and I had ...20 minutes and he had to be up at 4 and has to work all day. At least I get to go to my "bedroom" and nap. Some days are crazy in this life of ours, but even still we are more than blessed. I am so thankful to have this beautiful baby to love and to have 2 of the greatest kids in the world missing me back home. We will all get through this time and when we do our time together will be all the sweeter. Still blessed. Thats what we are.

P.S.

Daisy, we LOVE our smiley face balloons. Thank you so much for thinking of us. Every time we look at them we SMILE really big and think of you. We just love you two!