Be prepared

Ash is sleeping this day away the best that she can. Her little body is flush with fever and her tiny legs shake. She occasionally raises those tiny feet in the air for me to rub them. She is a lot more uncomfortable today in regards to movement. We are not able to move her position without her yelling. As long as we don't touch her body then she is resting. Nothing much has happened. She is sick and miserable. Everyone we have talked to seems to agree that she will have to be operated on at some point, but no one knows when to do it. There will be a new doctor on service in the morning and it will be interesting to hear what he thinks about where she is. For now we are to "be prepared" to go if her vitals change, but she is still holding her own. I am so proud of her! She is not being given anything for pain control at this time although they have written for morphine if we feel she needs it. The problem with giving it to her is that it is only going to cause more problems inside the bowel. Anytime you take a narcotic it slows down the function of the gut, but hers isn't working at this point anyway so I wonder if it would hurt? I have debated on posting pictures of her at this time, but for now I will wait and let Dave decide. She is large. Much larger than in the video we shared earlier. She doesn't look like herself right now and it is a little disturbing. Let us think about it some more.

I have peace for the moment that we will get through tonight without going into surgery. I can't explain why I feel this way. There have been some extremely tense moments in our room today as I held her feet in my hands and cried as though I would never stop, and then as quickly as I was overcome with fear I felt a wave of peace come over me and I knew we were ok. As long as Ash does not crash then we have held it off for one more day. The more days we can put off an operation the better chance I think we will have during recovery.

Dave has not arrived yet. He had to hit 4 different cities to make the trip. I expect him in the next couple of hours. My hope and prayer is that Ash will not need to have surgery at all, but even though I am hopeful I realize that I am being naive.

Your prayers...I don't know what to say. My heart is at peace knowing that she is so loved and knowing that you are carrying her to the Father for us. Thank you, thank you, thank you. So sorry for the late update. It has been a crazy out of control day. Your patience is appreciated.